Muse [18+] • REVISING

38 | Glass Partitions

V E R A

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I'll be right behind you. It's been twelve days.

He told me he'd be right behind me, repeating my words, and giving me back the hope I thought I had lost that night back in Avignon. We stood in that parking lot, and it only took no less than five minutes. Five minutes for the crushing weight that suffocated me every night for the past month to disappear. Five minutes for me to look at him and realize that I'd always find my way back to him. Five minutes to recognize that without him, I didn't make sense.

The past twelve days, I contemplated. The Damien I had met months ago, his steps were always calculated. The man went through life with extreme caution, making sure that everything was planned out exactly how he wanted it to be. Required it to be. A man that exercises control to that extent, both inside and outside the bedroom, doesn't slip up. He's thorough, paying close attention to any technicalities. All of that seemed to cease to exist since I left him there.

He hasn't called and hasn't bothered to answer. No text, no letter, not a peep from him for almost two weeks now. He told me he needed me back in Paris, and so I listened, I got on that train even though I never wanted to leave his side again. He made a promise to me, and I know I should hold onto that, but his silence makes everything feel cold again. I hadn't a damn clue what he was up to. For all I know, he's already in Italy, feeling up new skin with his new life

He wouldn't do that. His word is the most important thing he has.

I still felt out of place. I've returned to Paris, and he's gone quiet. It felt like Damien Dupont had disappeared right off the map after the funeral. I debated buying another train ticket to Avignon, just to see what he was up to and if he was even making any effort to save us, but he told me to trust him. Going back would only tell him that I didn't.

"Vera?" The voice came from somewhere in front of me, pulling me out of the dark hole I had gone down. The wind hit my face, the cold snapping me back.

Looking up, Cordelia leaned against the open car door. Taking in my surroundings, the realization settled that I had been in a car for the past thirty minutes. She sent Julian to pick me up and bring me to a 'top-secret location' but I had gotten to know Cordelia well enough to know that she was taking me shopping. After all, it was New Year's Eve.

Tonight was what she described as the event of the century, and I didn't doubt for a second that it was. I think about what she said when Nicolas, her, and I had dinner together, telling me that the two of them would be off somewhere getting a taste of someone. An image popped into my head, one where people were getting drunk off of champagne being poured down naked bodies. My face grew warm, the balmy feeling settling in the low of my stomach. Cordelia helped me out of the car, and I took her hand, unable to rid the curiosity that pressed at the darkest corners of my mind.

What if I was that someone? Then I thought about him. What would he do if I let the two people closest to him have me? Would he teach me a lesson or let me indulge? Would he join?

Damien and I had discussed the less than monogamous topic only twice before. The first time, he asked me if I was ever interested, wanting to tap into parts of me I had been drowning out for as long as I can remember. I didn't have an answer for him at the time, as I wasn't sure how to admit that I liked the idea of someone else's hands on me, knowing well off that I only belonged to him. The second time, he hinted at an open affair with his face in-between my legs, knowing the deviant thought would have me reeling into his mouth. He said all I had to do was ask and the fantasy would be mine.