Care to Command

57 Power

"I want you back, Layla." He says and I scoff, standing up.

"You're such a hypocrite. You literally said that's not why you did this five minutes ago."

"I meant it—" He stands and tries to grab me but I put up my hands.

"Don't... touch me."

"I don't understand..." He says, voice smaller. "I thought you'd like these..."

"I do. I like that you're admitting your mistake and that you're aware of why you did it." I stare at the ceiling. "I know you did this because I loved that restaurant in New York." I look at him. "And I know what that pasta means."

"But it's not enough." He says with defeat and I shake my head.

"No, it's not."

"What do you want?" He walks forward but stops when I step back. "Tell me, what do I need to do?"

"Staying true to your words would be a good start."

"Fuck, I meant it though, I did. I don't know how else to explain it." He tears his hand through his hair, truly seeming lost. "I was going to lay down everything on the table and accept whatever you decided."

"That's not what you did."

"No... it's not."

"Why?"

"Because..." He opens his mouth with a pained expression. "Please... Layla, I'm trying."

"I can't go back. You apologizing doesn't take away this... this disgust." My voice breaks and I rush past him to the door.

Why do I need to carry this shame? I quickly turn around.

"Do you understand the amount of trust it took to submit? To let you fuck me like that and call me your slut? I let you control me, because I thought I was safe!"

"You are safe with me—"

"I'm not done talking."

He shuts up and I take a deep breath.

"If you couldn't tell me about Grant's decision then you shouldn't have started a relationship." I wave around the space. "None of this repairs the trust that you broke. It just proves that you have feelings for me. And that means a lot, Lucas, it does. But having feelings for someone doesn't mean you won't hurt them again."

"Then I'll do better, I'll work harder. I'll do whatever it takes." His voice is so heavy, it makes my heart clench. "Layla, I'm begging, don't leave."

"I don't know how to feel safe around you anymore."

"I wasn't thinking on Friday." His eyes plead me to believe him. "Every time I see you, I just want to touch you and kiss you. It's not an excuse, I know, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for making you feel that way. You have every right to not trust me."

I look over my shoulder outside and see Gia is still parked across the street, then turn back to him, putting my guard up even more.

"It's too soon. I can't just forget everything."

"I know, I'm not expecting you to. I just need you to give me another chance."

"Why? Am I that good in bed?"

"I don't care about that." He responds immediately. "I just want you. I want you. I want to see you everyday and I want to see you smile. I want to hear all the weird shit that comes out of your mouth. I want to do boring things because you somehow make them more fun. I want to do everything with you."