Fighting For What's Missing

52.

William

I wait for Agnes to roll away and join Rob on the street again to return to my seat. "How is she?" Charlie asks before taking a sip of his beer.

"Strong."

"And you?"

I sink into my seat and groan, "don't." Charlie laughs, and I give him the finger. He's been settle about it but keeps making fun of me. No longer a newly father but apparently it's still funny. Suddenly, Agnes screams, and I jolt up, sitting upright in my seat. A wave of relief washes over me when I see Rob spinning Agnes around. "Careful!" I bark.

As if she knew she had just scared the living shit out of me, Agnes looks at me and smiles. "Sorry!"

"Is it that scary?" The seriousness of Charlie's voice keeps my body tense.

I look at him. All humor and amusement has vanished from his face and has been replaced with a stillness I've never seen on him before. "What is?"

"Being a father," he says, peering down at his hand that's picking at the arm of the chair. "Is it truly that terrifying?"

"Well...yeah." I press my back to the back of the chair. "I'm consistently worried about Agnes. I mean you saw how I was before; when she was living three hours away." That was years ago, but it was haunting.

"Yeah, but she wasn't technically yours. You weren't even fostering her then." He refuses to look me in his eyes.

"She was still my kid," I growl.

He must've heard the hardness of my voice because he looks up and into my eyes. "That's not what I mean... How-how-how do you know you're ready to be responsible for another life?"

"I didn't," I chuckle. "I just knew I had to be there for Agnes. Why? What's up?"

"I was thinking about getting my fostering license."

"Really?" I smile.

"Yeah, but I can't do what you did. The only reason why you got your license was for Agnes. You had a goal. I don't. And will they even give me a kid? I'm not married-I don't even have a serious girlfriend-"

"And I did?"

"You had Tisha and Spencer." He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and stares ahead.

"Spencer and I can help you. I can prepare you for fostering classes-they're not what you'd think. And Spencer can help you get a kid. Despite her hate for me, she saw how much Agnes wanted to be with me and knew that Agnes belonged with me. If you're serious about this-which I think you are-then she will help you too." I'm not surprised by Charlie wanting to foster a kid, he's only a few years older than me and it must be hard knowing time is running out. Especially when he's not with someone.

Charlie turns his head to look at me, his eyes and face brighter than before. "I can't handle a girl." I laugh then playfully hit his arm. "I'm serious, I dunno how you're so calm. I can't handle knowing that my little girl is out, living her life and making mistakes in this fucked up world."

"My little girl isn't out-" with my bottle in my hand, I reach out and point to her "-she's right there."

Charlie scoffs, and I drop my arm. "Can you honestly tell me that's going to be the case when she grows up?"

"No, but I'm not going to worry about it now. I already missed eight years of her life. No way in hell I'm going to miss out on any more."

In unison, we both shrug then take a sip of our beers and lean back in our seats.

"Daddy!" Moving faster than she should, Agnes rolls up the driveway and abruptly stops when I'm in front of her.

I lean over my arm. "Yeah, baby girl?" Her smile brightens. How was I ever afraid of my baby girl no longer being my baby girl?

She's a daddy's girl.

"Can we watch Ponyo tonight?" She asks.

"It's getting late."

"Please, daddy?" Pouting, she skates around in a circle once.

"You're going to school tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, but-okay, so no Ponyo, what about Monster Inc? You love that movie. I promise I'll be up ten minutes earlier for school. Please, daddy?" She pouts harder, batting her lashes. Groaning, I sink into my seat and nod. I can never win. "Yay, thank you, daddy!"

"Yeah, you're welcome," I mutter.

Fuck school. I'll just take bring her in late.

I hear her roll away, then I sit up. "She loves her kid movies." I finish the rest of my beer then grab another one.

*********

Charlie and Rob left not long after that. Agnes was still hungry so I made her two more hamburgers while she set up the living room. When we watch movies, we blow up the air mattress and set up the couches with blanks so they make little tunnels we crawl through sometimes. Agnes brings down all her toys and stuffed animals, and when the movie's over, we play a few rounds of chess. She's gotten really good at it. She plays with juniors and seniors in high school. I'm sure when she's in high school, she'll be playing with college students.

"Daddy!" Agnes exclaims from the living room.

"I'm coming!" I shout back, putting ketchup on the side of the plate. Agnes loves extra ketchup.

"No, The Croods part two is on here, can we watch that instead?!"

I grab both plates of food and walk to the living room. "Play whatever you want."

Agnes was so close to playing The Croods: A New Age, but at the last second, played Monster Inc. nearly twenty minutes in the movie, Agnes' phone rings. She grabs her phone and begins to move off the bed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I reach out and gently place my hand on her arm, stopping her. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to take this."

"No. What is your phone doing on anyway?" We agreed a long time ago to turn off our phones when we watch movies. "Turn off your phone."

"I have to take this," she repeats more firmly.

I'm utterly shut by her tone and a bit thrown off. But I quickly recover. "Turn. Off. Your. Phone." I reach over, snatch her phone, and declined whoever it is calling her. Agnes' eyes widen and she looks at me in disbelief. "Don't," I snarl. "You decided 'no phones.'" She wants to say something-I can tell by the look in her eyes, but she doesn't. Instead, she takes a deep and forced breath and sits back.

Less than a minute must've passed when Agnes' phone beeps. Moving faster than I thought, Agnes grabs her phone and reads the text message.

"What d-" Agnes gasps then jumps up and runs upstairs. "Agnes!"

I hurry off the bed and across the room when *SLAM* Agnes' door is slammed shut. "Agnes!" I yell, running up the stairs.