Statehouse Rules

Rule 1: No Water Toys Inside

Author's Note: Had the idea to start a little rule book, so I did it. I have a good number of rules already planned out, but if there's any y'all think of that you wanna see, don't be afraid to ask. 

Any who, here's the first rule. I imagine there's a pool at the Statehouse. Also, Washington has a bunch of health problems. Gov and DC are the same person, I just use Gov. And Gov will likely have a different set of pronouns in ever chapter. 

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It did not start as a good day for Washington. All week his allergies have been bad. He was sneezing so much that he had made himself light-headed multiple times. Yesterday he begged the universe to let him stop sneezing. And the universe answered by making him congested and stuff up.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Washington had the hardest time falling asleep last night. Up until about four in the morning, where he apparently passed out for five hours. He ended up sleeping through all his alarms and was nearly late for his zoom meetings with his politicians. He woke up in time to catch those, but that meant that he had to skip breakfast.

By the time he got out of the meetings he was hungry and tired and stuffed up and was getting the beginning of a migraine. The screams and shouts coming from his fellow states weren't helping the matter. But he couldn't really go and yell at them to shut up, since they were outside.

Washington finally got down to the kitchen and his day got worse. Most of the food in the statehouse was gone and needed to be replenished. And by most of the food, it was specifically the food that was safe for Washington to eat with his allergies. Any remaining 'safe' food also seemed to be contaminated by non-safe food.

It took a bit of searching, but Washington was able to find one bagel that he could safely eat. He slathered some jam on it (courtesy of Alaska and his many berries) and went to take a bite.

But he never got to. From behind one of the corners, a group of states jumped out and surprised him with water guns and water balloons. When they were done with their attack, Washington was soaked to the bone and cold and his bagel was too soggy to eat and he now had a headache. Tears formed in his eyes. At least that was something warm.

"Oh no..." One of his assailant's said. Washington looked up to see Texas, District, Florida, and Louisiana. They all had a guilty expression on their faces. Texas and Louisiana were trying to hide their water guns behind their backs. "Sorry Wash. We thought you were somebody else."

"What's going on here?" Gov asked. He and Utah entered the kitchen. They stopped when they saw Washington. "Washington, are you ok? What happened?"

Washington started crying. He didn't care if anybody saw him. This day sucked and he wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep it away. But he wouldn't be able to because he was hungry and wet and his head hurt. "I... I just wanted something to eat. I didn't get breakfast. I'm hungry. And now I'm cold. And my head hurts. And my nose is stuffed up. And I'm cold and wet. And... And I'm still hungry."

Utah came over and wrapped his arms around Washington, pulling him into a hug. Washington let him, because fighting back would've been too much effort. The hug was nice and comforting.

"And... and that bagel was the last thing in this house I could eat. 'Cause my stupid allergies ruin everything all the time."

If they looked guilty before, Washington's assailants looked downright remorseful now. Gov's glare was doing nothing to help the matter.

"What were you four doing shooting water guns in the house anyway?"

"Well, uh, we were looking to hit you." Florida explained. He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. That didn't really make the situation better.

"Uh-huh. That doesn't help your case. New rule, no water toys inside the house. They are to stay outside in the pool area or the yard." The group nodded, that was a pretty fair rule. "And you four can go on a grocery run for the day. The list is on the fridge. Wash, make sure you add anything you need."

Gov left the kitchen. District collected the water toys and brought them back outside to the pool. Louisiana gathered the shopping list off the fridge and Texas and Florida started looking through the coupon box.

Utah patted Washington on the back. "You come with me. We're going to give you a nice warm bath. And when you get out there will be safe food ready for you to eat."

The last part was punctuated with a glare to the assailants. Texas gave a sheepish thumbs up and grabbed his wallet. This was going to be a special trip. Maybe he'd also bring back some of Washington's favorite treats, even if they were a tad more expensive.

Washington let himself be led away by Utah. A warm bath would be nice. At least it was a little improvement on his day.