Until My Heartbeat Stops

I love you

When Dixie got out of the shower she heard a knock at the door. She had no idea who it could be, it was pretty late at night.

She walked over to open it stunned by the person behind the door.

Noah

She wanted to kiss him, to jump into his arms she would apologize a million times just to have him in her arms again.

"I came for my sweater."

Oh

"I'm think I left it here."

Dixie took a long, hard, heartbreaking breath.

"Yea it's in the room."

"Okay."

She watched as Noah walked into her bedroom grabbed the sweater she knew was sitting on the bed and than coming back out. Closing the door behind him.

He walked past her back into the doorway and was turning to leave when Dixie stopped him.

"So that's it, we're just strangers now."

"Dixie what do you want me to do?"

"I know I messed up okay. I know that trust me I know what I did. I know I ruined the best fucking thing in my life. I've been beating myself up the past week. But I can't do this Noah. I miss you so much it hurts. I can't do simple tasks without crying. I really.. really want to fix this because I do believe we're meant to be Noah. Please?"

"You cheated on me."

"So your giving up?"

"You cheated on me Dixie, I'm sorry but I can't forgive that."

"Your not even going to try. You don't even care that we're not together anymore. This doesn't hurt you at all?"

"If that's what you think you are fucking stupid. This hurts me so much, way more than it hurts you."

"How is that possible you broke up with me."

"Because you cheated on me. That means I get to sit in bed at three am and wonder what the fuck I did wrong to make you not trust me. To make you feel so goddamn lonely that you had to turn to something else someone like your ex husband for help. Do you know how much that hurts Dixie to have all these feelings for someone and them just go stabbing you in the back, and than you can't even be as mad as you want to be because you care so fucking much about them. Because you still wish them the best and you still feel like it's your fault and you still wish things didn't end up the way they did. I hate you Dixie. I hate that I care and I hate that I'm still standing here wishing I could kiss you and I hate that I'm not even mad. I'm not mad you kiss him and I should be but I'm not... and— uggggg."

"I wish I never met you."

Dixie took a breath. Letting Noah's words soak in and come out as a tear. She deserved it. She told herself. She deserved to feel the pain she was feeling because she had cause Noah even more.

"Your right." Dixie started again. "I'm an asshole for hurting you. For fucking with your life. For caring about you so much you felt like you had to reciprocate the feeling. It's not your fault Noah it never was and it never will be. You didn't do anything wrong and I'm sorry if I made you feel like you did. I'm sorry you can't be mad at me right now, but I promise you I'm mad at myself enough for the both of us. I don't blame you for hating me, or wishing we had never crossed paths but I can't say I feel the same. Look Noah the only thing I know is that I love you and I can't lose you right now or ever—"

He cut her off.

"What did you say?" He looked troubled

"I can't lose you??"

"No before that what did you say?"

"I love you Noah." She said in a calm conversation voice.

"Of course I love you."