Sunflower Reviews

Moni - Placebo

Reviewer: monique0912345

Review: Placebo

Client: Atari33

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Blurb on book:

This is not your average high school story. It's not your typical quiet nerdy girl gets noticed by the popular crowd and is loved by all. No. This is a story about drugs, violence and deceit. We're not following a socially awkward quirky girl but rather an outcasted and lowkey evil one.

Join Eli as she learns that to escape a life of lies, she must use more lies. But despite her questionable means of finding a new life, she does learn the odd moral virtue - particularly that of friendship.

Title:

I liked the title. I found it unique and have never come across a book with this title.

Cover:

I liked the cover and especially loved the fact it is a vector cover. It is amazing. The only thing I will say is the author's name is a little too small and is a little hard to see so maybe you can enlarge it a touch?

Blurb:

I enjoy your blurb. It tells us about your story and I think it is gripping!

Plot/flow:

I think the plot and flow is great. I loved how you have short chapters as they make it easy to read and follow.

Grammar:

You had okay grammar throughout, but I noticed you don't punctuate dialogue as in no commas when dialogues ended in dialogue tags and no full stops when dialogue ends in action tags. I will mention these instances in the Dialogue part. I notice you use a lot of dash ( - ) when you could easily use a full stop or comma. Be careful not to overuse the dash.

Character Development:

I really saw a development in your characters while reading. I love your main character and I love how she develops as we read. She seems like a strong person who doesn't want to talk to people or get along with them but she seems to warm up later on.

Descriptions:

I really enjoyed the descriptions throughout. They allowed the reader to see the scene as it happens which is great!

Dialogue:

You had good dialogue throughout. They were relatable as well. There were some improvements I spotted as I will mention below.

Chapter 2:

(Inline ^1) What you have: 'You're late' Ms whatever-her-name-was chided as I let the door close behind me.

'Yes, I am' I replied matter of factly, my voice emotionless.

'Well don't just stand there, sit down and get started on your work.' She commanded.

(My suggestion) For dialogue usually you use the quotation marks (") but the single ones as you have are fine to use too. 'chided' 'replied' and 'commanded' are all dialogue tags so you need a comma at the end of the dialogues here. Maybe instead of 'close' try 'slam' if you wanted but what you have works too. You also need proper paragraphs between the 3 dialogues instead of them being directly after each other. Try this;

"You're late," Ms whatever-her-name-was chided as I let the door slam behind me.

"Yes, I am," I replied matter-of-factly, my voice emotionless.