Chapter Fifty - Kinsley

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 Kinsley ~

I slept for twelve hours straight without moving and Dane laid with me the entire time. In fact he looked almost disappointed when I woke up and started to stir, like he wasn't ready to let go of me.

My body drank up the much needed sleep and even though I still felt groggy, I didn't feel as weak and the pounding in my head from the night before had subsided.

"Thank you." I said softly as I sat up and stretched my muscles that hadn't moved in hours.

"That's what I'm here for, gorgeous. Anything you need." Dane said.

Why are you being so perfect? I'm still so mad at you.

Silence wrapped around us and we sat there unsure of what to do. Sure we knew our typical morning routine, but that was before...all of this. What were we supposed to do now? Everything was so raw and painful, it was hard to think about anything other than our own anguish.

"I um, need to get to the gallery. Violet is probably wondering where I am." I said, quickly scooting out of his reach and instantly regretting it.

"Can I give you a ride there?" He asked, begging me with his eyes.

I wanted to say no, just to punish him. I wanted him to feel what I felt and understand how bad it hurts to be left and abandoned by the person you love, but I couldn't...I loved him too much.

"Sure." I said softly.

I showered and got dressed as fast as I could only to find Dane on the couch with his head in his hands. I didn't have to punish him, he was doing a good job of that on his own.

Clearing my throat as I entered the room, Dane sprang up from the couch and forced one of his charming smiles onto his face.

Oh my god I've missed that look.

"I made you some coffee." He said, pointing to the cup on the counter closest to me.

Of course you did.

"Thank you."

We made our way down to the lobby of my building and Dane called for a car to come pick us up.

Once we slid into the back seat, Dane gave the driver the gallery address and he settled into the seat next to me, grasping my hand in his as if nothing had changed...but everything had changed.

I didn't close my hand fully around his, but my fingers laced between his slightly, giving him the smallest amount of contact, but it was sweet and meaningful. I stared down at our hands and swallowed hard against tears that were threatening to fall.

"I'll let go if you want me to, but please don't make me." He said, begging for my permission.

I didn't answer, but I curled two fingers around his and allowed his hand to stay in my lap for the entire ride to the gallery.

Once we reached the gallery, I let go of his hand and mourned the loss of contact the second I let go.

"Can I come in and see?" Dane asked as I stepped out of the town car and onto the street.

Again, the most petty and spiteful part of me wanted to say no, but that would be just as much of a punishment for me and I had been through enough.

"For a little while." I answered quietly.

Dane's smile melted me as he climbed out of the car and held his hand out to help me onto the sidewalk.

He stayed close to me as we walked inside, close enough that I could feel him behind me, but he didn't reach out and touch me. It was obvious that he was restraining himself around me, only touching me when I permitted it.

"Which ones are yours?" He asked admiring the works of art that littered the walls around us.

"These over here." I said, leading him over to one side of the gallery.

All of my paintings had a sharp contrast - a duality of light and dark, life and death that carried over into every piece of art that I had created that month.

Dane's expression hardened as he studied my work and he took a step closer as he admired the pieces on the gallery wall.

"Light and dark..." he scoffed darkly under his breath. "You...and us."

Wrong.

"You would think that wouldn't you." I said coldly as I took a step forward and joined him.

Raising my hand, I pointed to the bright side of my painting first, before moving to the right to the darker side.

"Before you sent me away...and after." I corrected him.

Dane was speechless and stared at the paintings, finding that same theme in every single one of my pieces.

"You know if you and Tyson would have taken a break from hating yourselves so much, you may have realized how much I love you." I said flatly.

Hanging his head, Dane pushed out a breath and nodded his head in complete agreement with my spiteful statement.

"I'm sorry." I said before I could stop myself.

"No, I deserved that. You're right."

We stood there for a few seconds before I finally gathered the courage to send him away.

"I need to get some stuff done today. I promised Violet that I'd help her with a few things."

"Sure, I'll uh, get out of your way. But I'd like to pick you up and give you a ride home later...if that's okay with you?"

"That's fine, I'll probably be done around seven."

Dane's face lit up at my approval and he moved to hug me or maybe even kiss me, but stopped himself short, remembering that we were still navigating this new territory.

"I'll see you at seven." He said, giving me a half smile that was laced with the slightest bit of pain that he couldn't kiss me goodbye.

I worked with Violet all day, but my mind was elsewhere.

I was starting to warm up to Dane. Everything he said and did seemed genuine and I knew I'd find a way to forgive him. Tyson on the other hand still hadn't contacted me and hadn't come with Dane to New York. At least Dane realized that he had made a mistake. Dane flew across the country to fall on his sword and beg for forgiveness while Tyson seemed to stand by his decision. Tyson sent me away...and he meant it. 

How can I ever forgive him for that?

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