"Fucking hell! It smells like a dead rat in here, what the fuck?!" Giselle hissed as she entered their unit.
She bought a box of chicken and four cans of beers, she planned on surprising her two friends since their 5th year is coming. Karina hasn't been answering her texts and calls and so does Winter.
She was enraged when their unit door was unlocked so she just barged inside but then a foul smell greeted her.
"Karina! Winter! What happened here? Don't you know how to take care of yourselves? God! The air here makes me wanna vomit for real!" Giselle fixed the messy living room, bottles of water, chips and cans of empty beers were scattered on the floor. Whoever lives there would undoubtedly have fleas because of how untidy the room is
"Girls come out, why would you all leave the door open? What if a serial killer pops up and murder you both? I swear I'm gonna double murder your bodies if that happens!" Giselle kept yelling with her obnoxiously loud voice while fixing the living room, and yet again she haven't received a single reply to either of them
She slowly trudge her way to their room, the first door she opened had a computer, a desk, books and long table, it was their work room. So fresh and clean.
Giselle instantly regretted opening the next door beside it, the odor is foulsome, she almost puked her entire system out.
She saw a sleeping Karina on the bed, Giselle sighed as she opened the room's window and closed the AC.
"Jimin!" Giselle taps her shoulder lightly but the girl remain stilled in her position
"Yu Jimin! Wake the fuck up before I splash a cold bucket of water on you! God, do you still call this a room? My OCD is triggered, get your ass up right now!" Giselle roared
Karina sat up while rubbing her eyes, "W-winter?"
"Really?" Giselle scoffed, "Do I look like Winter to you? Get up and take a shower. Where is that girl by the way, she texted me last week saying we'll hang out today and yet her ass is missing!" Giselle snatched all the bags of chips and empty beers, she gathered it in the corner of their room. She finished cleaning and all but Karina is still spacing out.
"Hey, move! I'll fix this, holy shit Karina when was the last time you took a shower?" Giselle joked when the girl stood up, wearing a familiar flannel shirt. She noticed the dark circles surrounding her swollen red eyes, she looked tired as ever, far from the Karina she knew.
Karina didn't smell that bad but the entire unit sure does, the girl ignored her as she entered the bathroom like a walking zombie whilst Giselle started cleaning the bed and floor.
Soon as she's satisfied with her work she tried to knock on the bathroom door to say something to the older female but was halt when she heard faint sobs coming from the inside.
She slowly took her hand back and sat down on the cold floor beside the bathroom door.
Sighing in worry, she sat still whilst motionlessly listening to Karina's heavy whimpers who's refraining her loud sobs from coming out of her mouth
...
"Have you eaten?" Giselle strike up a conversation.
Karina remained silent, still wearing the flannel shirt she's been using for days to ease the longing sensation for the younger, the lingering scent all over the shirt is beginning to cast off.
She misses her and even if she tries to deny it she knew something's wrong.. by the way the younger treats her.. she's so cold and distant.. her calls wouldn't be returned, her texts would only be on read, purposedly ignored.
She didn't know what happened to them. She's been asking herself whole week where did it went wrong? The unit were often filled with joy, contentment and laughter between the two of them. But recently, everything started to drastically change; the younger female unexpectedly vanished into thin air.
Winter texted her two days after her disappearance; and that was the last, Karina misses her so bad. She crave for her affection more than anyone
Maybe she have found someone better. She thought. Why else would Winter act like that? Inside the 7 days she's alone in their unit, Winter never once showed up to check on her.. not a single text or call.. she never went home and stayed the night like how she usually do. It was odd because Winter will consistently go home and spend her short time with the older female within her loaded schedules
Karina planned on taking her far away from the city. It didn't come out as she expected for the reason that Winter began acting strange.
Not once did the younger showed up the following days and greet her with warm hugs and soft kisses. No 'how was your day?' No 'I love you's. Nothing. She had forgotten the last time they exhanged those three words
Funny. She's always the first to tell her that and never once received a decent reply from the younger.
And perhaps, that's enough to prove that she lacked, surely one of these days Winter would barge in their unit and tell her she's breaking up with her.
The thought of that scares her.. what would she do? Will she let her? Can she take it? Will she survive after that?
A tear fell from Karina's eye, she didn't bother to wipe it off, her heart aches for so many possibilities... possibilities of what might happen afterward
"Winter asked me to check up on you. She also said not to tell you about this so don't mention anything about what I said 'kay?" Giselle stated.. in pure lies just to comfort the latter in any way she can. Because she knew herself what it feels. It's torture. Even if she doesn't ask she knew what was happening between her friends
Karina looks up to her, confusion and pain evident in her eyes.
"Where.. did I go wrong? I was pretty sure we were happy," Tears began to cascade on her beautiful face. What Giselle said gave her a tiny bit of hope, but the incredulity is still there
"Is it starting?" Giselle mused, "Misunderstandings, arguments, detachment.. is it happening to the both of you?" She whispered but was loud enough for Karina to hear
The elder gulped the big lump forming in her throat, answering her question with another question just to avoid it because what she said is true, their relationship is getting there
"You still love her, don't you?"
Giselle looked up to the serenity of the night sky as she smiled bitterly, "I never stopped loving her. Even if I try several times... I just can't." She whispered in a guttural tone
Karina looked away, she wiped the tears blurrying her vision. Everything hurts, no words could even ease an aching heart at this point.
Pulling her knees to her chest she rested her head on her arms.. it has been five and a half months since Ningning left them, but Giselle couldn't let her go. It made her reckon how long will she be able to let go from Winter if that happens.
"But it's okay.. if it's her I'm willing to get hurt over and over again. Sometimes getting hurt regarding of that one person means they are worth suffering for." Giselle remarked with a bitter smile as she chugged the beer on her hands
"Don't you think so, Rina?"
"I don't know.. I.. I don't know," She can't fathom to picture Winter with somebody else.. it will be the end for her if that befall
Loving means hurting along the process
But how much pain can someone bear at all?
People often think that it's okay to get hurt when you love
Yet they also skip the most important part
If you truly love someone, sometimes the best thing you can do is to let them go
YOU ARE READING
Miss Pessimistic | winrina/jiminjeong
Fanfiction"Please, just this once... tell me you love me." Deep down we both knew it would only lead to pain... but we still got carried away. We risked everything even ourselves, it was getting destructive. Right then, I knew what we had to do, and that is t...
