Fresh Start

F i f t e e n

   "You look really nice." Maia comments, probably trying to get my attention which I've been easily focusing on Jenna, avoiding all of Maia's conversation starters.

It's halfway into the night, almost everyone's done their meals but me and Alexandra, but Kaylee eagerly took my uneaten food. The plan was to walk for ice cream after but a quick check in after everyone's stomachs determined dessert was off the table.

I let myself look at Maia for a second longer, studying the sweet smile she shares with me, noticing the way her cheeks spread to make room for the tight lipped smile and unknowingly creating a small dimple in each of her cheeks.

Before I get too deepI force myself to look away, muttering a 'thank you' in response and promising myself not to look at her for the rest of the evening, simply because it was too hard.

"Kris." Jenna says, her voice breaking through my thoughts. "Check's here." She explains, digging into her pocket.

I nod weakly at her before reaching into my small backpack to reach my wallet and eventually retrieve my bank card.

I hear plastic hitting the hard that tells me everyone's began placing their cards in the center of the table. I place mine in the center, on top of someone else's before Kaylee begins the steps to-what she likes to call-money roulette. She closes her eyes, shuffling the plastic cards together as the rest of us watch in suspense, fearing our card being drawn.

I take a sigh of relief before grabbing my card when Kaylee annonces Josh is the one paying, handing his to the waitress.

Simultaneously, everyone slides out of the booth, exiting the restaurant promptly. "You guys need a ride?" Alex asks me, Kaylee and Jenna.

Kaylee's quick to accept but I tug on her sleeve a bit, before saying, "I think I'm gonna take the bus."

She squints at me, examining my blank expression, "Really why? The apartment's pretty far."

I shrug, "Hoping to clear my head, plus you know I like to take the bus." I state, recalling all the past houses I've been in and the one thing they had in common; city transit.

"Do as you wish." She says, starting to walk with Alex away from the small group remaining.

"You want company?" Jenna questions politely and I'm quick to decline remembering how much she dislikes even the idea of public bussing, preferring her motorbike much more.

I turn around to walk down the street just in time to witness a small kiss between Josh and Maia, so I turn suddenly, instead taking the longer route by walking down a long alley that stretches the entire block, changing slightly in width as some buildings stretch further into the narrow path.

I cross my arms over my chest as I start down the alley, trying to warm up my numbing arms by imagining the heat on the bus I'll reach in a few minutes. I watch the walls change from brick to limestone and then back to brick, this time painted a light grey colour.

I turn my head down to watch my feet hit the pavement, over and over and over again. Listening into the 'thud' sound they make each step I notice something weird. There's multiple thuds, getting louder, and quicker, and closer. My body has a mind of its own, speeding up my pace while my actual mind is whirling, trying to figure out what's going on.

"Kris." A familiar voice calls out, making me halt in my steps and seconds later a warm hand is placed on my shoulder, almost in a reassuring manner. I turn around to face Maia, though I didn't need to see her to know it was her, I knew the second she called my name it was her.

Her hand falls from my shoulder when I turn, making the slight warmth it brought dissipate throughout my cold body. "Oh my god, it's you." Finding myself calming at the fact it's her and not some crazed murderer.

"Yeah it's me, the person you've been ignoring all night." Her voice doesn't hold any anger, mostly just hurt and sadness but it's still enough emotion to make me wince slightly, suddenly questioning if I preferred a crazed murderer. "Did I do something?"

'Yes', I wanted to say, 'You kissed me and made me think you cared', but instead it comes out as "No."

It's quiet for another minute and I squint my eyes, trying to see her expression in the low lighting and seeing just enough to make out her biting her lip nervously, making me subconsciously sink my teeth into my own. "I mean, you haven't answered my texts all week, and when you did it was with one words answers and it made me fucking sad, and feel like I did something." She pauses her words but something about the way she looks at me tells me she's not done, not even close, and a second later when she begins speaking again at a faster pace, my thoughts are confirmed, "And then tonight you barely looked at me, you just talked to Jenna, and that just made me straight up jealous..."

She may still be speaking but my mind's completely frozen on her past words, jealous. She was Jealous, of Jenna. My eyes unfocus slightly, before they shift down to the ground as I contemplate her words, trying to understand what she meant.

"Kris." Maia speaks again, making me look up to meet her way too intense gaze.

"You were jealous?" I ask, squinting to try and study her expression in the dark night.

After a few seconds she looks to the side, opening her mouth to speak, but no words leave her lips and instead she just nods slowly.

"Why?"

Once again she opens her mouth but like before no words emerge as she meets my gaze, but this time instead of nodding I watch as she leans forward, and then for the second time in the past week, her lips meet mine.

Shock only lasts a few seconds this time and since I'm very aware that she'll pull away like she did before I let myself enjoy the small moment, leaning into the kiss and even reaching my hand up to the side of her face.

I expected the kiss to end there, for her to pull away and tell me how she regrets it so it's safe to say I was shocked when her hand brushes against my cheek, and hooks her hands behind my neck, deepening the previously innocent kiss.

From there I get lost in the push and pull, becoming hyper aware of my senses; The fact that we're so close I can smell her flowery perfume. The way she pushes me back until my back hits the brick wall. My hand moving to her waist where a soft sweater lays over even softer skin, my fingertips brushing underneath the hem slightly. The taste of her strawberry lip gloss. Her hand going through my hair. The sheer feeling of touching her. Kissing her. Being this close to her.

When she finally breaks the kiss she doesn't pull away, doesn't remove her hands from where they hold my face, doesn't step back out of the embrace like she did back at the church. Instead, she just stares at my eyes, not daring to look away.

Despite the fact I've spent the whole kiss thinking about it I still find myself confused about how it happened, and I'm about to voice this, ask her something like 'Why me?' But before I can she says "Wanna stay at mine tonight?"

Before I can overthink what that means I push away my constant need to analyze every single thing and I nod slowly, and not even a second later Maia's hand interlocked with mine and she's pulling me the rest of the way down the alley leaving me to ask myself, Why would someone like her kiss someone like me?