I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 50

At eleven o'clock, everyone sat down on or around the couch, waiting for Harry to open his presents. They were all full of cake, ice cream, and sparkling cider, and Niall was laying in the middle of the room, moaning about how he ate way too much. Harry sat in the middle of the couch, Liam on his right and Louis on his left, and he took his first present off of the full table. It was a small gift bag with a white envelope taped to the outside, his name written on it in fancy, curly-cue writing. "That's from me and Casey and Duke," Calum said, raising his hand, his other hand resting on Casey's inner thigh. Harry nodded and pulled the envelope off, opening it and smiling as he read the card inside. "Thanks, Cal. I love you too, even though you won't let me kiss you on the lips." Calum blushed and ducked his head down, avoiding eye contact with Casey who had raised her eyebrows at the two of them.

    Harry pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and let out a shout when he saw what was inside. "You didn't! Calum, I fucking love it!" He took out the golden thong and stood up, holding it up to his body. "I'm glad you like it, Haz. I saw you staring at it when we went to that store so Casey and I went back and picked it up for you." Harry grinned and leaned down, hugging Calum tight. Casey shrugged when he turned to her and hugged him as well, squeezing him tightly. "Thank you, guys. Next present!" He cheered, grabbing the next thing off the stack. "That one's from me," Zayn piped up, a devilish smirk on his face. Harry nodded and ripped off the wrapping paper. His eyes widened as he took in the image on the box. "Y-You...Zayn this- I- this is a- Why the fuck did you get me a dildo?" Liam coughed and nearly spit out his fruit punch when he heard the word dildo.

"No, Zayn. You did not get him a dildo. Give that to me Haz." Liam held his hand out for the box but the boy shook his head, holding it out of his reach. "No, I wanna keep it. It's my birthday present." Harry put the box underneath the table and picked up the next present, ignoring Liam's frowning face. "Who is this one from?" He asked, shaking the small box. Niall raised his hand and then scooted closer, wanting to get a good look at Harry's reaction. Harry ripped off the paper and then shrieked when he saw the box. He dropped it and covered his mouth with his hands, his eyes wide in shock. "Niall!" The blonde burst into laughter, tears streaming down his face. "You asshole!" Harry yelled, chucking the small box of Viagra pills at the older boy. "You're such a dick, Niall."

Niall stomped his feet on the floor, gasping for air as he cackled like a little Irish witch. "Niall, why the fuck would you buy these?" Harry whined, not even wanting to look at the boy. "Well, my dear Harry," Niall gasped as he tried to catch his breath. "You told me that you and Louis haven't fucked yet, so I thought that with Louis's old age he might not be able to get it up. I was only trying to help." Hary grimaced and Louis made a face of shock. "You think I'm too old to get it up? You know, Niall, I'm not that much older than you, so you're sort of insulting yourself. Also, for your information, I am very good at getting boners. It's easy when I'm with Harry." Niall gagged and Liam ducked his head down, angrily finishing off the rest of his punch before going back into the kitchen to refill it.

The rest of the group laughed it off, knowing that Niall was always quite the jokester. "That is sick, mate. Truly sick. I hate you." Harry crossed his arms and pouted, looking like a grumpy kitten. "Aww, I love you too, Hazza," Niall said as he got up and place a big, wet kiss on Harry's cheek. Louis watched the whole exchange with amused eyes, his heart surprisingly fond, given what the situation was. Harry looked around as he wiped off his cheek, seeing that his older brother wasn't sitting next to him on the couch anymore. "Thanks, Niall, now you've scared Liam off." Niall rolled his eyes. "I know how to get him back in here." He cleared his throat and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Liam, if you come back in here I'll let you touch my ass later!" Less than a minute later Liam rushed back into the room, his cup of punch in hand and a red stain down the front of his white t-shirt.