Cassie

IV

 "Stars shining bright above you Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you" Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me..."

My chest rose and fell with the music as I settled deeper into the comfort of the soft mattress I was laying on. The room was silent. Kaia had been asleep for almost an hour now. It was so quiet here. So still. So unfamiliar. But not in a bad way. One finger gently coiled around the stray headphone cord that laid across the bare skin of my stomach, where my tank top bunched up against the soft sheets underneath me. The other hand gently pulled through the tangles in my hair. Another thing my mom used to do when I was small, to make me feel safe and loved. I started doing it to myself a few years ago. Although some things fade with time, the human desire to feel safe and loved never has.

"Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me While I'm alone and blue as can be Dream a little dream of me..."

My eyes fluttered shut but I knew I wouldn't sleep tonight. I rarely did when I had so much on my mind. Another childhood habit of mine. I had a lot of those. Mom used to say I had an addictive personality. When I found something that made me feel good, I clung to it like a fly on a trap. And oddly enough, she was more right than either of us could have anticipated.

"Stars fading but I linger on, dear Still craving your kiss I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear Just saying this..."

Creaking footsteps outside the bedroom door caught my attention. I had assumed everyone else had gone to bed already. I knew Jamie had. He'd come up to Kaia's bedroom a while after dinner ended, with the excuse of wanting to say goodnight to me before he went to sleep. In reality, we both knew he just wanted to check up on me. Wanted to make sure I was still all in one piece. Not that I blamed him for being worried about me. I had given him plenty of reason, if accidentally. not entirely on purpose. My little brother had as much right to worry about me as I did about him.

But still, the pit in my stomach seemed to grow with each sideways glance and the cautious word he gave to me. The floorboards creaked again outside the door. I pulled one earbud out and sat up in bed.

"And she didn't notice?" I thought that may have been Hudson speaking, though it was hard to tell from such a distance.

"No," It was Beck who spoke next. I could tell by the way the voice filled with unearthed anxiety and fear. He always spoke like he thought he was doing something wrong. "She didn't notice."

"And Jamie didn't either?"

"No, I always put the safety locks on for him anyway, he wouldn't have known the difference." They had moved closer to the door. I suck down to rest on my elbows, still listening intently for what they were going to say next. They didn't need to say my name for me to know that I was the topic of conversation. I guess it's to be expected, the two oldest talking to one another about as big a change as I brought. But that didn't make it any less irritating. No one liked to be privy to other people talking about them. Especially when those other people were supposed to be your new family.

"Were you afraid she was going to jump out of the car?" Hudson seemed a little less amused than I thought he should.

"No, well, not really," Beck muttered in his pensive voice. "No, I didn't think she was going to jump out of the car but better to be safe than sorry, you know? I don't know this kid or the way she thinks. I just wanted to take a little extra precaution."

They were right outside the door now. It's pretty stupid to talk about someone standing right outside their door, I thought bitterly to myself. I put my head back down on my pillow, glaring at the ceiling and grabbing my earbud to shove it back into my head. I didn't need to hear any more of their conversation. I had heard enough at 'safety locks'.