13. Dick-shaped Pancakes

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— Theo —

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Theo

"JULES WHERE ARE the eggs?"

"They're on the stove but it's not fucking cooking."

"What do you mean it's not fucking cooking? Scoot over brat, let me see-ouch! fucking hell."

"What? What did you do now Eli?"

"You little shit! You turned on the wrong burner. You burned my fucking hand."

I sighed deeply as Julian's and Elias's arguing resonated all the way upstairs into my room where I was previously enjoying my sleep.

I turned positions and threw a pillow over my ear in an attempt to drown out my brother's bickering that originated so early in the morning. Yet finding sleep was impossible as Elias and Julian's voices rose higher.

"How was I supposed to know you'd put your hand on that burner?"

"Because I assumed the only burner that you turned on was the one with the pan on it," Elias retorted furiously.

"Guys! The eggs are burning," Rey interrupted with panic.

"I thought you said they weren't cooking Jules."

"Well, they are now," Julian exclaimed.

"Who the fuck turned on all four burners?" Elias's voice boomed within the kitchen.

"I thought you were supposed to turn all of them on."

"Guys focus. The eggs."

Seconds later, the high-pitched ringing of the fire alarm echoed throughout the house and painfully pierced my hearing. With a tired groan, I took that as my cue to get up before the three downstairs burned the kitchen down.

Why use a regular alarm clock when you have a fucking fire alarm to wake up to every damn day. Fucking music to my ears.

I trudged achingly across my carpeted floor and aggressively stomped down the stairs in a fit of rage.

"What the hell do you three think you're doing?"

My raging voice interrupted their panicked scrambling around the kitchen as the three of them froze in shock as if they were just caught red-handed.

Elias subtly dumped the charred eggs into the garbage while he whistled under his breath, while Julian abruptly stopped waving a dishtowel above the stove as he coughed out the smoke that entered his mouth. Rey just stood in between the whole mess as he flashed me his most innocent smile as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

The three gulped simultaneously as they briefly locked eyes before Julian and Elias nodded in agreement as they pushed Rey into the spotlight — offering him to me like he was some sort of peace offering.

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