Reincarnating into a Beautiful Woman

Chapter 80

"You're lying."

This was the twentieth time Celine had repeated the same exact phrase. 

"Then that means. . ." She had assumed he was lying and that this couldn't possibly be the truth. However, it wasn't entirely impossible. He had retold the story that she had read in her past life but in more detail. He repeated it multiple times without leaving behind a single event and his eyes were mixed with emotions as if he was reliving the scene. Still in disbelief, she made him repeat the story many more times until Celine was finally convinced.

"The family members I have here are actually my real family members. . . This is my original body, MY face, MY life. I was raped by that emperor. I really helped you, and I suffered that horrendous death because of Zavia. You're also saying that the world quite literally became hell too." Celine spoke bluntly, as if these facts did not register in her mind. She thought about this alternative ending and nearly fell nauseous because Celine had lived through a similar timeline.  

" I just- I feel like my life is a lie." She shuddered, deeply disturbed by the realization. It still didn't seem real to her. She still felt emotionally distant and sometimes out of touch with reality. However, imagining that the story she had read about was about her own. . . Celine frowned. "Then that means I loved you?"

She was fascinated by their original story, and her tears unknowingly spilled out again at their tragic end. She had no memories of that life, but the idea of this tragic story being hers was painful to take in. Even Akihiko grimaced and held her tightly. She heard the wild beat of his heart and shook. Celine almost wanted to push him away, however she knew that Akihiko was not at fault and didn't want to bring him any more pain.

"Are you upset that I don't remember our first life? That our past memories are now solely yours?" She asked slowly.

"Of course I'm upset, but I think it's best if you don't remember." He replied firmly, shaking his head. "It won't matter anyways because I will overwrite it."

Celine stared at him incredulously.

"Akihiko, you shouldn't think about the past too much since I stopped reminiscing about mine. The emotions you experienced with me in that life will be much more different in this life. In this life, I didn't love you romantically when we first met, and I still do not wish to be an empress." She said strictly. Just then, Celine blushed and felt like a fool for accepting some of his advances and intimately cuddling him at the same time. Even now, she was in his arms.

"Of course. I only received my memories recently, so I know how to discern my current life from the past life. I know I have a long way to go before you are mine."

The emperor smiled and kissed her hand gently. Then the smile disappeared, turning expressionless again.

His eyes shook as he spoke flatly in a cold manner. "You say you don't want to marry me, but you married someone else."

Celine fell still, as if she was caught in a love triangle with a non-existent third person. 

Celine felt ridiculous for comforting a jealous man in the middle of war. But she sat down, telling him that she had resolved all of her feelings for her past husband. The emperor's feelings were more serious and even deeper than she had ever imagined. Celine wanted to be honest and  show her sincerity while also drawing a line between them.

"The person I have feelings for is you. Yes, I did have a husband in the past and what do you expect? For me to stay loyal to someone I don't remember? Therefore, you shouldn't think of my past in that way. I spent my entire life studying and working that I couldn't even start a family with my husband. I retained so much information that I was able to help improve this country's health and economy. That's why I have no regrets. Right now, I have grown feelings for you so I don't know what's making you so upset. Where I'm from, couples don't think about marriage." She spoke confidently and drilled the emperor with logical facts that he became speechless.

 He pouted. "I'm the emperor, of course I have to think about marriage! Do you even love me?" 

There was a slight pause as Celine hardened her expression at his question. She knew she was being difficult, but she needed time to think. She had just admitted her feelings towards the emperor, and jumping into marriage was overwhelming to think about. Especially since she would be both wife and empress.

"Just don't answer. I don't think I can handle it." He interrupted , then pulled her into his arms like a defeated child. His grasp was firm and almost desperate, yet Celine felt comfortable leaning against him. The emperor didn't need to ask any woman for their hand in marriage. However, he didn't want to press on and scare Celine. This was his second chance, and he couldn't mess it up. He knew she absolutely despised internal affairs and being the center of social circles. How could he dare force her to do anything?

"You had forgotten our memories. But I still found my way to your heart. I am at least thankful for that." He smiled at last, seemingly convincing himself to calm down. He had felt a strong urge to murder the man who resembled her late husband, however the desire slightly lessened and his focus returned to Celine. However, he still felt the need to take a step further to ensure his worries.

 He recalled one of her many lectures over love and marriage. He wanted to try once more so Akihiko climbed off the bed and kneeled with one leg, holding Celine's hand preciously. "Will you marry me?"

Celine laughed, blushing with embarrassment at his intense stare. Her heart was fluttering, and she knew that their tangled love story was almost like fate. She would keep running, but eventually he would catch up. Even though Celine didn't want to marry, she couldn't deny her feelings. 

Would staying with this man be worth becoming an empress? It was the question that Celine ultimately needed to answer quickly.

Therefore, her answer was different from the usual, brutal rejection. "Maybe." Celine replied.

The emperor blushed for the first time, reminding Celine of the Second Prince's expression the first time they had met. His eyes were overflowing with happiness as if she had agreed to marry him.

"I only said maybe." She reminded him.

*****

As Celine fell asleep, the emperor gently released his hood and reluctantly left their private tent. He had a few more tasks to send out to the envoys and prepare for the next battle. He received news and carried out more orders, keeping himself busy with various work. After a few hours, the emperor dismissed his closest officials and headed straight to Celine's tent for a break.

There was a melancholic aura surrounding Emperor Akihiko as he looked up at the sky before returning to the tent.

He didn't return to their small bedding. In fact, he sat crouched in a corner farthest away from Celine, who was sound asleep. He didn't want her to wake up from the tears spilling out of his eyes.

He watched her silently, his heart aching in pain as he sniffled pathetically. The woman he loved ardently would probably never love him fully again. In fact, to Celine, he wondered how close he could get to her heart after all the wrongdoings he had committed. He knew this in his heart, and believed it was punishment from the gods.

Ever since his memories had returned, Akihiko had to suppress his overwhelming emotions and clamp down on his desires in order to win Celine's heart again. The woman who had loved him unconditionally became a formidable person. She had become a genius and seemingly harnessed the intelligence of a goddess. It was as if she was truly a celestial being. Akihiko knew in his heart that Celine would never belong to anybody. She was a person Akihiko would never be able to reach, and he could only hope there was space enough for him to squeeze through. He continued to cry and yearn for the loss of a woman who had passed many lifetimes ago. The memories of Caelina would only remain in his heart, and he had to bear with it alone.

Somehow, it was much harder than he had anticipated, and it felt as if someone had stabbed his heart.