Fall For Me

21

EDITED

21

I had a good weekend being home with my family in my vulnerable state. It had helped a lot, but once I returned to school I was once again hit with the same reminder.

I arrived back to my dorm room and saw Jaycee sitting on the couch watching Matt play video games. I didn't realize Jaycee was returning so early today, I wouldn't have waited until 6 in the evening to come back.

"Hey, babe." I kissed the top of Jaycee's head as I put my bag outside of my room. "How was your weekend?" I asked, sitting down next to her.

"Peaceful. Very peaceful. An escape is always nice." She murmured. "How was your weekend?

"Relaxing." I agreed.

"Mom talked me into going back to my classes so I'm gonna try and do that tomorrow."

I was proud of her. I am aware of how hard losing someone close to you can be, but she's handling it so well.

"I'm probably just going to go drive around. I don't think I want to go to any classes tomorrow." I told her. She laid her head on my shoulder and brought her feet up on the couch.

"It gets better right?"

"Eventually." I hope to god, anyway, I thought, but I still really don't feel healed after the pain I endured from losing Lance and my parents.

Does one ever feel totally healed after the deaths of their loved ones? Ever? Perhaps, one day I will find out.

Matt continued his game, completely ignoring Jaycee and I, which I found amusing. Normally, he would have left by now, but nope, he's still playing my Xbox.

"Hey, Matt, normally you book it out of here-"

"Allen is using the dorm tonight. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

Well, that's not a pleasing thought or image in my mind. Jaycee let out a chuckle as she saw my disgusted face. Her small chuckle was enough to make me grin.

Music to my ears.

"C'mon babe, let's go to bed." I stood up again and held out my hand to help her up. I put my hand on the small of her back and walked her to my bed. I turned back to look at Matt and held up a finger.

I already knew he wanted to talk about what went down when I saw my family.

"Hey you get ready for bed and I'm going to go talk to Matt for a little bit." I told Jaycee as I kissed her forehead.

Damn. Things have changed so much these past few months. No one ever thought I would ever settle down, but I may have now. I really care about Jaycee.

Jaycee laid down in bed and was basically out like a light.

I sat down next to Matt on the couch and stared straight ahead as he stared at me.

I'm aware of why he was staring at me. He's aware of why he was staring at me.

I started sleeping with different girls around the time Lance died. That's how I coped with myself. Matt could tell I was thinking about Lance's death though.

"I'm fine." I lied, right through my teeth. "I want to, but I won't. I couldn't do that to her."

"Jack, you and I both know you have a hard time resisting urges." He reminded me. As if I could forget. "You've got something good, don't ruin it for yourself."