Torn

1

"Frankie schatz wake up! You're going to be late for school!" (honey) I groaned and rolled out of bed. "Ich bin wach!" (I'm up) My beautiful mama came in my room in her work attire.

Which is normal, mama has to work a lot of hours to keep our two-bedroom apartment because her good for nothing husband just drinks all day. Don't ask me why she stays with him she won't tell me.

"Breakfast is on the table and lunch money is in the kitchen" she says as she kisses my cheek "Ok mama, have a good day at work" I gave her a hug and walked her out the door "Always, see you later tonight. I promise schatz" (honey)

If I had known that was the last time, I would see my mama I would have hugged her longer, but I didn't.

"Wake up you lazy girl!" I really hate him "I'm up!" it's been 4 years since mama died and left me with him. I ask myself why she left me with him every day. When mama died, he blamed me for it, me being 12 at the time I believed him and sometimes I still believe him.

"Get down here and make me breakfast!" I hate him, when mama died, he became abusive. Why haven't you told anyone you ask that's because the one time I tried to tell someone I couldn't walk for a week. So, I don't try anymore

"Hurry up!" I look around my makeshift room and found a shirt that doesn't look that dirty and run down the stairs. When I get in the kitchen he's already at the table.

I freeze at the sight of his face, he's smiling. He never smiles, not at least a nice smile like this. He must have seen me because the smile is gone "What are you looking at huh?" I looked away and started working on his food.

I'm not allowed to eat with with him, I have to wait for him to leave. Even though hes not home I can't eat too much, or he'll know. When I put his food on the plate, I moved towards him. When I realized what he was going to do it was too late, he had put his foot out in front of me I tripped. Before I hit the ground, I heard the plate shatter on the ground

"Verdammte Scheiße !" (Fucking hell) I yelled as I felt the glass from the plate sink in my hands. I'm almost up but double back to the ground as I feel his foot connect with my stomach. I hiss in pain as my hands hit the ground yet again. As I glare at him, as he has a sick sick smile on him stupid face.

"I want this shit cleaned before I get back, got it?" I simply nod, I can see he was not happy with that

"Words" he takes a step forward

"Yes sir" I grit out and with that he walks out of the kitchen but before he does, he pushes things off the centers. I can hear more things hit the ground in the living room before I can hear the front door slam.

It's too early for this shit.

I don't go to school anymore. He says he doesn't trust me to not slut around. I don't see how that affects him, but it somehow does.

Once I'm sure Hes gone I look down at my hands. They don't look too bad. I can see some glass in the cuts. I look for anything to help me get the glass out. When I found some tweezers, I got the the bathroom and sit on the counter.

When I finally get the last piece out. The sink is a bloodied mess and so are my clothes. I start to strip to get in the shower. It'll take too long to get all the blood off with the sink.

I sigh as the water hits my back. I watch as the water turns pink from the blood. My mind starts to wonder as I look at my scared thighs. I haven't cut in two weeks. It's hard not too with everything but I push through the thoughts. I think that's what's the hardest is that I think about it all the time.

It's like it's another person in my head. I fight with them all the time.

'It's your fault that she's dead'

'Just do it, kill yourself'

'It's not like anyone would care if you died'

Es wird Dir gut gehen (you'll be ok) I repeat in my head well I fight tears. To distract myself my wash my hair but hiss as soap gets into the cuts. When I'm done in the shower. I look at the mirror and wish I didn't.

I dont even recognize myself. My green eyes are dull, my skin is pale and batter with scars and bruises, my red hair is almost to my butt.

I look nothing like my mama. She had beautiful blue eyes and tan skin and black hair. Mama said I look like my papa. When I'd asked where papa was, she had t
tears in her eyes and said

"Oh schatz, he had to go way but he'll be back. He promised" (honey)

But he never came back and neither did she

..................................................................

Have a wonderful day!
- Foxx