Statehouse Rules

Rule 4: California Can't Have Fire Equipment

Author's Note: Rule Number 4. A few things do get lit on fire, but nobody gets hurt or anything. I just love the idea that all of Cali's braincells go out the window when he gets his hands on a lighter. 

There is alcohol mention/drinking. 

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"What the hell are you doing Florida?" Somebody asked.

Florida nearly jumped three feet in the air. He spun around to see California, hands on his hips in a lecture position. He let out an exasperated sigh and started to go back to what he was doing. "What do you care Nation-state? You don't have the power to stop me."

California began to say something, but he cut himself off. He was staring at something. Florida looked around to see what it might be, but couldn't figure it out.

"Hey, you good?" He waved his hands in front of California's face. California's gaze followed his right hand. Florida looked at it. He was just holding his favorite lighter.

Oh...

Florida held up the lighter. He had that chaos smile on his face. "Is this what you're interested in? This lighter?"

California snapped out of his daze. He crossed his arms and stomped his foot. "No, that's ridiculous. I have it on good authority that fire is extremely dangerous. It's not something to play around with. No matter how captivating... and pretty..."

He trailed off staring at the lighter again. Fire was dangerous. Fire was dangerous. You shouldn't play with fire. It's extremely perilous.

But it's oh so pretty. How the flames dance on a candle. How they roar when they are fed at a campfire. Everything about them was so amazing.

Florida held out the lighter. "C'mon buddy. You really don't wanna use it? Are you sure?"

It was a tense moment. California was fighting with himself. To take or not to take, that is the question.

And the answer is to take. He snatched the lighter out of Florida's hands. On his face was his own chaos grin. "What should we burn first?"

----

Florida and Louisiana were sitting on the porch swing drinking daiquiris. They were just chatting about whatever came to mind. Their conversation was interrupted by a group of states, and Gov, coming out back.

"What the [speaks Boston] is that?" Massachusetts asked. He was pointing to the backyard, where an old shed was in flames and burning.

"Is a shed. You never see one 'fore?" Louisiana asked. He smiled at the glare he received.

"I know what a shed is. Why is it on fire?"

"Oh, I gave California a lighter. He's been having lots of fun. This isn't even the first thing he lit up, it's just what he's been working longest on." Florida answered. He took another sip of his drink. White Claws were still a better beverage in his opinion.

"Excuse me?! You gave California a lighter?" Gov asked. This was not good.

"Relax." Louisiana said. He held up the hose that was lying next to him. "We's ready in case dings get outta hand."

That did not cause the group of states to relax. California came back from wherever he was. He was laughing an almost villain type laugh. That stopped when he spotted the group of states. He was in trouble and now they were in a standoff.

Massachusetts reacted first. He pushed New York forward and ran at California, who reacted by running off. He wasn't about to let his lighter get taken away, not so soon after he got his hands on it.

The rest of the states watched as New York joined the chase. There was lots of screaming from everybody involved.

Gov placed a hand on both Louisiana's and Florida's shoulder and leaned in. "New rule, no giving California lighters. Or any fire equipment for that matter."

Then Gov took off in a chase as well. It would take a good number of them to corner the pyromantic state. California's height gave him a slight advantage in speed.

Florida turned to Alabama, the only one of the group still left on the porch. "Hey, now you guys can build that new shed you wanted."

Alabama thought about it for a moment. They could, in fact, build a new shed. He'd need to approach Mississippi about designs, but it would work. "Do you two wanna help with the project?"

"Sure, just let us know when it gets to the hammering part." Yeah, there was no way Alabama was inviting either of them near hammers.

... He should probably put out that fire before the yard catches.