Twenty-two

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When we left the bathroom, Fred and Inez were both waiting in the wardrobe, looking at us like parents who caught their children causing trouble.

Fred leaned against the closets and Inez stood by the window, her arms folded over her chest.

I was dressed and George was wearing nothing but his briefs.

"I'm going back to bed." George announced but as he walked by Inez, she tripped him and if it hadn't been for the wall that he used to hold himself up, he would have fallen face first.

"No you are not!" She said. "You're gonna get dressed and then you'll come downstairs for breakfast!"

Then she turned to me.

"You too. Downstairs."

"You know, Inez... I love you and all but George and I have both been married before. We know what to do... you don't have to hold our hand and guide us through it all."

"As far as I'm concerned, you haven't planned a wedding before!" Inez raised her voice which she did when she was stressed, and George and Fred slowly snuck away from us. "Remember when you married Malcolm? You weren't allowed to lift a finger. Neither one of you were. The planning was in the hands of his parents and your mother and now you get to have the best wedding you could possibly dream of and you're spending most of the morning having sex in the shower."

"Well in our defence... we haven't had sex in five days."

Inez raised her eyebrows at me, then laughed as she ran a hand over her face.

"Get downstairs, will you? You're too horny — couldn't even have waited for the honeymoon."

"It should be called horny moon." I mumbled, walking past her.

"Alright, I need you to wear your shoes." Inez said. "They need to be practice at walking in them."

"I know how to walk in heels."

"You still need to break them in."

"I've broken them in enough." I told her. "You've made me wear them a lot this month. Today — no."

Neither of the guys were in the bedroom and when Inez and I got downstairs, Fred was eating and George was getting dressed in the middle of the living room, closing his trousers before pulling on his t-shirt which laid on the table.

"I have a dress fitting at four." I told Inez who paused for a moment, frowning at me as if I was insane.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"You have today to relax and do things that make you happy before the big day tomorrow and I have not scheduled any dress-fitting for today."

"I know." I said and sat down next to Fred and across from George. "I scheduled it myself."

"Why?" She asked. "Gosh, you're impossible. You don't need another dress fitting. You had one this week."

I shook my head.

"I had one a week ago." I corrected her. "There's a difference. It was last week."

Inez placed her hands on the table and leaned on them while she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Same shit, Dahlia. Why do you need another fitting?"

I shrugged.

"I've gained some weight and I'd like the dress to fit."

"You've gained some weight?" She asked. "How much weight could you possibly have— oh shit you're pregnant."

I stared at her without saying anything for a moment before George and Fred suddenly broke into laughter.

Well if she hadn't known before, she certainly did now.

"You're pregnant and you didn't even tell me?!" She exclaimed. "Does George know?"

I laughed.

"Well if he didn't, you just told him."

"And Fred?"

I nodded slowly.

"You told Fred before you told me?!"

"We actually didn't tell him." George pointed out. "Leah did."

"Yeah, El and I announced her pregnancy and Leah got up and completely outed Dia." Fred grinned.

"Eloise is pregnant too?" Inez asked. "Jesus Christ... I want to be pregnant too but my partner has a vagina and apparently three kids are enough."

"You can have this one." I said, pointing to my stomach.

"Dia!" George exclaimed. "You can't be giving our child away

"Oh, she never said anything about wanting the child. She just wants to be pregnant so if she carries it 'till term, that would be excellent."

"It." Fred snickered. "It's a baby, not a thing."

"Fred, if I want to refer to my unborn child as 'it', I'll do it and you'll just have to put up with it." I said. "Geez, I thought we were supposed to be surrounded by people who make me happy. Well, guess what... you all annoy me."

George smiled, being used to my mood swings while Inez raised her eyebrows as her and Fred looked at me.

"At least there's an explanation for your moody behaviour." She said. "Eat. Both of you—"

She pointed between George and I.

"Have you had an ultrasound?"

"Nope."

"We're waiting until we get home from the honeymoon." George said.

"Well how far along are you?"

I looked at George.

"Shit... nine weeks today." I said before I looked at Inez. "Today marks nine weeks."

"And you haven't had an ultrasound?" She asked. "You are terrible at looking after yourself. I'm gonna leave for a while but I'll be back. Stay in the house."

We all looked at her as she walked out into the hallway to get her shoes before she left the house and slammed the door behind her.

"Is she okay?" Fred asked.

"Inez?" I shrugged. "She really is. I think something went wrong in her head when her parents dropped her on the head as a baby."

I couldn't help but laugh at my own comments while the guys both looked at me.

"What?" I asked. "It was a joke."

"Kind of brutal, don't you think?" Fred cocked an eyebrow.

"If you think that's brutal, just wait until tomorrow." George said. "They'll properly fight while Dia walks up the aisle with Inez behind her."

I simply looked at him before I started eating the breakfast that Inez had prepared.

"Have you ever realised that Georgia and Freddie and Roxi are basically half-siblings?" Fred asked, causing George and I to look at him. "It's been proven, that when identical twins have children, their children will technically be siblings because of the DNA and shit, so technically, I'm also the father of my niece and nephew."

That's disgusting.

"Please don't ever say that again." I said, making a face at him which he saw.

"You sent me so judgemental looks these days, I swear!" He said. "I can't wait for your pregnancy to be over. Ooh, I actually read something about an old wives tale that's supposed to predict gender. El is all happy which points to a boy while moody means girl. Leah is not gonna be happy about a new little girl outshining her, huh?"

I sighed.

"You talk too much. I'm gonna eat this outside."

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