MAGNETIC [H.S.]

15. all of my friends

It felt so good to be home again, to be back with my family in the city. It felt good to know that we were whole again. Missing Ash hurt in a dull ache that I had grown so used to, I didn't realize it was still there until it went away.

Watching Harry and her interact now is fascinating. It was fascinating back in the day, but now it's on another level. I would give anything to worm myself into each of their brains and just pluck out the stubbornness, pride, and insecurities that have kept them from each other for so long.

I think they're soulmates, or twin flames, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. They're meant to be together. The universe will continue to put them together until they give in.

I had the honor/burden of hearing a lot of Harry's side of things when we were young. Niall didn't want to hear the heavy shit back then, he would listen and he cared very deeply but it would weigh on him too heavily. He cared too much, he always just wanted to fix everything.

Louis didn't fix things, he just listened. He listened to Ashton when she needed it. In the same vein, I didn't fix things for Harry, I just listened.

Liam didn't fix anything for anyone, he just got high and showed up to have a good time.

Harry was an interesting creature. He was both extremely introverted and wildly charming. He looked so approachable and warm in the way he presented himself, and he was that way for most strangers on the street or random people in a bar. Strangers were his comfort, he could win them over so easily. They didn't know anything about him and that's exactly how he liked it.

Friends, on the other hand, those of us who knew his past and his dirty secrets and his parents...we didn't get the same man. The man we got isn't bad by any means, he was wildly protective and insanely smart, loyal to a fault, but darker. He didn't lay all his cards out, he didn't divulge the whole plan, he held back. He played it close to the chest.

Some people (Ashton) viewed it as selfishness. A self-centered form of protection. She was wrong, of course, but she didn't care. She projected her own insecurities onto his actions so that they fit the villainous narrative she created of him.

Could you really trust her narrative? Can you trust mine? How do you know people's true intentions when they aren't the ones telling you the story?

Much to think about, hm?

Harry arrived at Niall's apartment right on time, as always, and let himself in, as always. I was staying with Ni until I got my own place, the space was huge though so we had more than enough room to share. Unlike Harry, Niall liked to use his money. He didn't care if it was dirty, he earned it. He had grown up dirt poor with a single mum much like myself and when she married a wanker in a suit Niall learned to take whatever the fuck he could get.

That's how he became such a good hustler. He learned to pick-pocket when he was poor in Ireland, but he learned to hustle when he was here in America. He very much lived by the philosophy that "you can't take it with you when you go" so he spent it. He spent it like mad.