Not That Perfect | JJ Maybank

NINETEEN

A letter

JESSICA

I wake up next to Kie on John Bs' pull out sofa.

I don't know how much I drank last night but I shouldn't have. "Ugh" i groan as my head begins to pound.

Kie wakes up and smiles to me "hangover?" She laughs shaking her head.

"Yep" I laugh but it I regret it instantly as my head starts to pound.

"Morning Kie morning Jess" John B says as he walks passed us with a beer in his hand.

"Morning" we say in unison.

A random girl walks passed making my brow furrow. Who is she? Did she just come from JJ's room?

"Of course" Kie scoffs and laughs I want to laugh but I know it'll hurt.

JJ walks passed winking at both me and Kie with a beer in his hand. Am I the only one with a hangover? "Shit, what time is it?" I worry as I know I have to be at the Cameron's for dinner.

"Like half twelve" Kie guesses as we've both just woke up.

"Would you mind driving me to my place? I've gotta be at the Cameron's" I ask as I pick up my phone and see she was right 11:35am "Ask JB he's going out anyway" Kie tells me.

I make my way outside to John B who has made himself comfy on a hammock. I ask him and he agrees only because I told him he could use my car for the day. I give him my keys and we set off to my house.

"So what's the history?" I ask

"What do you mean?" he replies as he turns the music down so we don't have to shout over it.

"You know who's dated who that kind of thing" I clear up my question.

"Oh well we have a rule 'no pogue-on-pogue making'" he explains.

"But Kiara isn't technically a pogue" I point out as we turn down my street.

"True but she doesn't like being treated as a kook so we class her a pogue"

"Can't argue with that" I say as John B stops my car outside of my house my aunts' car still gone. I know I shouldn't be worried but I want to know where she is.

"Take care of her for me" I tell John B referring to my car.

My car is the only thing that reminds me of my mother for two reasons. One a Jeep was her favorite car and she always wanted one. Two well any car reminds me of her because of what happened.

"I'll do my very best Jess" he smiles and I get out grabbing my bag and watch my car drive off.

Walk up to the tall black metal gate and put the code in -my birthday- and it slides open presenting my house.

Before I know it I've used all the liquid in my vape. How the hell now I have none left although I do have cigarettes. I know I know I'm 16 however I'm pretty sure Kie told me JJ smokes weed every now and again. So when you think about it it's not that bad.

I get the key from under the plant pot and open the door and place the small golden key on top of the shoe cupboard.

As I walk to the kitchen and the first thing I notice a note on the kitchen Island. I sit on on of the stools and open the note.

Dear Jessica,

I can't begin to explain how sorry I am for what I've done to you. Especially after what you've gone through losing you parents.

This is from Lucy.

But you have to understand that I lost my brother too. In now way is that an excuse for how I've treated you. The drinking is how I coped with it and I'm sorry for how that affected you. I should have stopped but I didn't and that was extremally selfish. I made an agreement with Ward Cameron and he has agreed to look after you even though I know you'll do fine by yourself.

Ward Cameron? Sarah's dad?

I'm going to get better with the drinking I promise. I've enrolled into a rehab that will help me. Ward has promised that he won't let me near you until I'm better. I asked him to invite you to dinner. So please if you need anything go there. And don't through any huge parties at the house.

Like I'm going to listen to you.

The fridge and all the cupboards are stocked full so you won't need to go food shopping for a while. Even though you hardly eat at the house you usually eat out with your friends. Well I think you do anyway.

Love, Aunt Lucy

Is she serious she thinks she can disappear to rehab and leave me with a letter and a babysitter.

I mean I'm glad she's getting help I don't think I could put up with the constant hitting and the bottle throwing much longer.

My phone pings and I wipe away some of the tears I didn't know had fell.

Don't be late - Sarah

Of course the dinner shit. I'm not even dressed.

I run up stairs and take of my bikini top putting on a normal bra then put my black body suit on pairing it with dark blue jeans.

Since this is the first time I'm meeting the Cameron's, well all except Rafe and Sarah.

I put on my shark tooth necklace on and a pair of black rectangle sunglasses on resting them on the bridge of my nose.

I look at myself in my full length mirror and notice how big my thighs are, have they always been like this?

I turn to the side and suck in so my stomach goes flat then let go over my breath.

I walk away from my mirror knowing that if I stay their I'll either start crying or my mirror will end up in pieces.

I used to stand in front of my mirror back in Arizona for hours on end and when ever my mum would walk into my room. She would wrap her arms around me and tell me I'm perfect how I am, and that I shouldn't compare my self to others.

But she's not here to tell me that anymore.