Out Of Time | A Shelby

twenty six

When Nancy opened her front door to see Arthur stood on the doorstep, she wanted to slam the door in his face.

She hadn't stepped foot outside the house in those seven days since Arthur had told her how he was feeling, and she didn't plan on going outside for the next seven days, either.

Esme had been coming over every day to make sure she was alright, as well as taking Vincent to and from school every day. She was the best friend Nancy could've ever ask for, she knew there was no lengths Esme wouldn't go to for her, but she wished that she wouldn't have to go to any lengths at all.

Arthur had cut Nancy deep. It had taken her time to trust a man again, to let a man into her home and into her mind, into her body, too. She felt so happy and secure with Arthur, it was as if the universe was telling her that this man was the right man, but perhaps she'd interpreted that wrong.

The pain she felt when she walked away from Arthur was like no pain Henry had ever inflicted upon her. It was worse than every slap, every punch, and every burn. It stung worse than a black eye or broken ribs and it lasted longer than bruises on her neck.

Nancy never knew love could hurt that much, but now she did.

"Please let me in, I just want to talk."

She said nothing, but allowed him to come inside her home. Vincent was round at Esme's playing with her boys, the house was painfully silent.

Arthur wavered by the door for a moment, pulling off his jacket and debating whether to hang it up on the hook where he used to. He decided against it, laying it over the back of a chair instead.

The two of them sat down opposite one another, only the coffee table in between them.

"I've made a mistake, Nancy."

"So have I."

Nancy's reply hurt Arthur. He hadn't expected her to be so hostile. All he remembered was the way she smiled when she left, he didn't think she was angry or upset, he didn't know how much it had affected her until John told him, and even then, he needed to see it to believe it.

"No, I'm sorry. I've been stupid and reckless, I wasn't thinking straight and you know what my head is like, it's-"

"You can't use that as an excuse for what you did to us, not this time."

Arthur sighed. Nancy was right. He knew he was beating around the bush with his apology, he didn't want to have to admit to his mistakes, but he knew that he had to if he wanted to leave Nancy's house with even a glimmer of hope for their relationship.

"I fucked up. I know I did. I let my past interfere with my future and naively I couldn't see that it wasn't right. I can't apologise enough for what I've done to us, Nance. I know I need to learn how to understand my feelings better, I know that, but I just feel like a piece of me is missing when I'm not with you."

Nancy scoffed, shaking her head.

"You left me for your ex-wife because you didn't know whether you still loved her or not. How do you expect me to deal with that? What do you want me to say to you?"

"I don't love her, I know that now. It's an awful thing to say Nancy but I had to go back there to know that how I feel about you is what love really is. It's different with you, it's indescribable and I can't live without it. Without you, everything's just black and white, it was the way I saw everything before you pulled me down from that bridge, before you saved me."

Arthur looked at her, pleading with her through his eyes. He saw she still had the necklace hanging around her neck.

Nancy shifted in her seat, the collar of her dress falling to the side. Arthur's heart dropped when he saw the mark, black and blue across her neck.

"Nancy," Arthur gasped and rushed to her side, pulling her hair away to look at her neck properly, "What happened?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, was it Henry?"

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, and simply nodded.

Arthur held her as she silently cried. He said nothing while she held her head in her hands and emptied out the emotions she'd been holding inside. Her body was shaking and he held her tighter, kissing the top of her head and stroking her hair.

He was furious. He was seeing red and his blood was boiling, he wanted to kill Henry Lewis and throw his body in The Cut. But he stayed quiet, knowing that all Nancy needed at that moment was to cry.

"Please Nance, tell me what happened."

She shook her head and stood up, pushing Arthur's arms away from her and rushing over to the kitchen to splash her face with some water.

Arthur approached her slowly. She was stood by the window with her hands resting on the counter, staring out at the sunset.

He felt sick. He was furious with himself not only for what he'd done, but because he knew he could've protected Nancy had he not made his mistake. Arthur had broken his promise to Nancy that he would always protect her. His words meant nothing anymore and as he watched Nancy cry, he knew that it didn't matter what he said to her, she would never be able to forgive him.

"I should've been here," he said.

He was met with silence.

"Vincent was crying for you," She eventually said, turning to face him, "Refused to sleep every night, cried until he tired himself out. When it happened, it was the first time Vincent had ever seen it. All because he wouldn't sleep. He won't ever forget that."

Arthur didn't think his heart could break any more or his conscience could get any heavier, but suddenly, both of those things happened at once.

He couldn't get rid of the awful image of Vincent stood in the doorway watching his father beat his mother. What made it worse was the fact that Arthur could've stopped it all if he hadn't been so foolish.

"Nancy, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."

She chuckled softly, "What is there for you to say?"

"That I'm sorry and that I love you more than anything in this world."

They looked at each other, though Arthur couldn't stop himself from glancing down at the mark on her neck, a constant reminder of his mistakes.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

Arthur looked into her eyes. He saw how quickly she was blinking, trying to hold back her tears. He saw the lump in her throat that she kept trying to get rid of, and he saw the way her bottom lip was quivering even though she was desperately trying to keep straight face.

Three seconds later, she broke.

"Why weren't you here, Arthur..." Nancy dropped to the floor in a flood of tears, hugging her knees to her chest as she cried, "I love you and I needed you, we needed you because you gave us hope and happiness and at the moment we needed you the most you let us down. How could you do that to us?"

The way she looked up at him was like a window into her soul. Her eyes were drowned in pain and it was as though with every tear she shed, she was sharing more emotions and feelings with Arthur, finally telling him everything about how she felt.

"What hurts the most is that I don't hate you, I miss you. I want you here because I need you, you keep me safe and you make me happy, you give me the life that I've always wanted and I never thought that it would be taken away from me in such a painful way. I just want things to be back how they were but instead..."

She choked on her tears as she tried to speak. Arthur kneeled beside her, cradling her into his chest. She didn't need to say anything else, he knew every last thought and feeling inside of her mind. He couldn't turn back time, but he could change their future.

There was one thing he had to deal with first.

an;;
In relation to my last an if anyone was interested in the Tom Hiddleston fic the first chapter is now up!! I'll be updating that later today also so keep an eye out!!

-martials