I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 56

Harry woke up the next morning to an empty bed and he didn't know what to do. He was so used to waking up next to Louis that waking up alone seemed too sad. The boy stood up from his bed and stretched, all of his joints and bones cracking a bit too loud for a seventeen-year-old who had never really done any physical labor in his life. He made his way out into the kitchen and frowned when he saw no one in there. His eyes were drawn to the fridge where a small note was fluttering around, the fan facing it directly. Harry pulled the note off the fridge and read it, his heart sinking a little bit more and his eyes tearing up.

Haz,

After our talk last night, I decided that I want to try and see my dad, just to see what he's like. I haven't seen him in over sixteen years and I think this is something that I need to do. I found out he moved to the states and I'm flying out to see him. He apparently has a daughter now, and a whole new life without me in one of those midwestern states that have zero people living there. I just need to know that he hasn't completely forgotten me. I will already be on the plane by the time you wake up, sleepyhead, so don't try calling me. I'll text you when I get off the plane, and I'll call you when I get to my dad's. I promise I'll be back soon, but I've waited too long to do this and it's now or never. I won't be gone for more than a week, so don't get too lonely. I'll be back before you know it.

Love,

Lou

Harry brushed a single tear off his cheek and set the note on the kitchen counter. He didn't like being without Louis for a day, much less a whole week. The boy sank to the kitchen floor and hugged his legs to his chest, not knowing what he was going to do for a whole week without Louis. Hanging out with the guys was always a possibility, maybe seeing a movie with Liam and Zayn at the new cinema in town. Spending time with kitten was great too. Retail therapy sounded like an awful idea, though, so that was out of the question. He sighed and laid his head down on top of his knees, taking a few deep breaths. Louis would be back in a few days. He would be fine without him for a few days.

The boy's head shot up when he heard Liam's bedroom door open and Niall came out, wobbling a bit as he walked. He didn't see Harry as he walked down the hallway, giggling quietly when he tripped over the threshold into the kitchen. The blonde was only wearing a flannel, one of Liam's, Harry presumed, and he sort of limped with every few steps. A collection of small bruises created a deformed handprint-like shape on his pale thigh and when he reached on his tippy-toes to grab the coffee from the cabinet, his shirt rode up to reveal that his ass was covered in red marks. Harry dropped his gaze and picked at one of his fingernails, hoping that Niall wouldn't notice him. The blonde didn't seem to notice him, at least, for a little while. He moved around the kitchen, grabbing scones and pouring coffee. Only when he went to the fridge to grab some cream did he notice the boy on the floor.

"Oi, top of the mornin' 'az. Where's the boyfriend?" Niall asked around a mouthful of danish, spitting crumbs all over the boy. Harry grimaced and brushed the moist crumbs off, standing up from the floor so he could get his own breakfast snack. He wiped at his eyes furiously, hoping the older boy wouldn't notice. "He had to go. Family emergency." Niall nodded and shoved the rest of his danish in his mouth, pieces of it falling over the floor. Harry rolled his eyes, having just vacuumed the floor the other day. "Is 'e comin' back la'er?" Niall asked with food still in his mouth. "Umm, he didn't really say when he'd be back." Niall nodded but squinted when he saw how red Harry's eyes were. He swallowed the rest of his food and wiped his mouth again, still leaving a smear of cherry preserve on his cheek. "Hang on. Have you been crying, Haz?" Niall reached forward to examine Harry's face closer, but the boy pulled away, going back to his coffee. "What, no. Why would I be crying?"

Niall looked completely unconvinced, his eyes narrowing. "That prick didn't break up with you, did he? Because if he did, I swear I will slice off his d-" Harry stopped him. "No, no, he didn't break up with me. Read the note on the counter." Harry gestured to the piece of paper and Niall picked it up with his sticky jam hands, his eyes scanning over the page. "He left to go see his dad?" Harry nodded, his eyes tearing up again. "And you had no warning of this? He didn't tell you before he left?" He shook his head at the older boy. "Well, that's a shitty thing to do. If Liam did that to me I would have quite a few things to say to him. But, I guess you two have a different relationship than Liam and I. Do you need anything?" Harry nodded. "Could I have a tea?" He asked with a raspy voice, both from sleep and from crying. "Of course, Haz. What kind?" Niall replied as he made his way over to the kettle, filling it up halfway and turning on the stove. Harry bit his lip and thought for a moment.

"Can I have some oolong?" Niall nodded and grabbed a bag of oolong from the cabinet, ripping open the packet to put in a mug. "Liam and I were planning on staying in today since it's his first real day off in a long time, but we could take you somewhere. I know Zayn's got a day off too, so we could all go over to his place. Or we could drop you off there to hang out with him alone. Whatever you want." Harry nodded and made his way over to the box of pastries, plucking out the last chocolate chip muffin. They were Liam's favorite, but Harry had pity points so Liam couldn't get mad at him for taking the last one. Right as he bit into it, Liam's bedroom door opened again and this time a disheveled looking Liam came out, his sweatpants low enough on his hips to display his lack of underwear. "Oh, hey Harry. I didn't know you were up yet. Let me just-" He trailed off as he pulled his sweatpants up his hips and tied the string tight. "Sorry you had to see that, kiddo. Usually, you wake up a lot later."

Harry shrugged and took his tea from Niall, blowing on it to cool it down so he could drink it. "Hey, Li, could we drive Harry to Zayn's so they can hang out today? Louis's out of town and I know Haz is gonna be lonely." Liam nodded and poured himself a large mug of coffee, his arm slipping around Niall's waist to rest his hand on his hip. "That sounds fine, yeah. Just tell me when you wanna leave and I'll drive you. Make sure we're not mid-fucking, though. I'd like to be fully clothed when you ask me." Harry shot him a thumbs-up and took another bite of his muffin. "Where is Louis, anyway? He never told me that he was leaving to go somewhere." Harry sighed and leaned his hip against the counter. "He flew to America to see his dad. He hasn't seen him in sixteen years and he wanted to meet him as an adult." Liam's eyes widened and he almost choked on his coffee. "He's on a fucking airplane! What is he, crazy? When that fucker gets back I am so beating his ass for leaving out of nowhere."

"No, Li, don't do that. I think he just felt like he really needed to do this. He said he'll only be gone a week at most." Liam sighed and ran a hand through his buzzed hair. "Fine, but don't expect me to be all cheery with him when he gets back." Harry gave him a curt nod and took his tea back to his room, curling up in bed with kitten as he scrolled through Instagram. Niall had posted a few pictures of him with Liam, kissing each other's cheeks and holding hands in bed. It was disgusting, how sickeningly sweet they were with each other. He hoped that he and Louis were never that disgusting, or at least not publicly. Kitten mewed softly from his lap and he scratched behind her ears, mussing up her fur slightly. "I know, kitten. Daddy's not here. I miss him too, but he'll be home soon." Harry leaned back against his pillows and set the kitten on his chest, running his fingers over his spine. "I know he'll be back soon."