From The Start (1st Draft)

Chapter 12

We held hands and he walked me through the woods silently until we reached the back of my house. He stared at me without saying anything and then I smiled sheepishly back at him. He let out a small breath and looked around, waiting for me to say something.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked him quietly.

"Oh, yeah," he said, dropping my hand to pull out his cell phone. "It's a little after ten."

"Crap," I whispered nervously, trying to figure out how many lights were on. From what I could see, only the kitchen was lit up, and that meant someone must have been awake, so I came to the decision that I was going to try to be sneaky.

I looked back to Alex and he was staring at me, but didn't say anything. "I think I'm going to sneak in through the side door instead. I don't want to wake anyone up."

He shrugged. "Okay." He was quiet. "I'll see you later then," he questioned.

No! "Can you walk me there?" I hinted.

"Oh. Yeah, sure," he smiled.

"I mean you don't have to if you don't want to."

"Of course I want to," he told me.

"Okay," I said anxiously, beyond nervous of what was going to happen.

"Alright."

We got to the side of my house and eventually reached the door, as I stared at it silently, not wanting to go inside just yet. I took a deep breath and leaned my back against it, so that I was staring Alexander straight in the eyes. He stepped forward so that we were only about a foot apart from each other, and he didn't look right. It seemed like he had something on his mind, almost like something was secretly bothering him.

"Are you okay," I asked him, as he remained as still as possible.

"Yeah," he muttered. "I'm good."

I bit my lip, trying to figure out something to say but I had no clue how to break the silence. "Are you sure?"

"Rosie," he whispered. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

My heart was pounding. "What do you mean?"

He lightly put the lantern on the ground and put his hands in his pockets. "Never mind."

"That's not fair. You can't do that," I urged.

"We're, friends," he whispered.

"I know," I answered. I hated that.

"I don't want you to think I'm using you."

"Using me?" I asked, confused as ever.

"I'll be straight up with you," he began, and then stopped.

"Okay," I said.

"I really like you," he whispered.

I was so happy I couldn't breathe now. My world was spinning. "You do?"

"Yes," he paused, as I smiled widely and began to get light headed. "But I can't be with you. You shouldn't be with a person like me."

My heart fell. I had never felt more embarrassed in my life. "I never asked you to be with me," I barely said out loud.

"I know. I'm just telling you beforehand."

"Beforehand?" I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe how stupid I was making myself look.