Jaylen's beginning.

Chapter eleven

Jaylen-

Pops slammed the front door closed before he threw his head back in frustration as he ran his hands down his face. I could tell he was inwardly panicking but he wouldn't let it show. Pops was always the one who acted calm.

The gun I had used was now long gone and hidden.  Dad somehow knew people who could hide illegal things well. The lady was still laying there. The gun was laying in her hand and her fingers were barely around it anymore.

I felt sick to my stomach as I looked down at the lady  but I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of her.

"They're going to start banging on the door, Justus. I'll just go."

Dad only shook his head no grabbing pops arm, tugging him back. Pops is going to take the blame. The gun I had used was nowhere near here so it was easier for pops to take the blame.

"Messiah, I can take the blame."

"Justus." Pops warned as he ran his hand down his face annoyed. "I didn't kill her- they can't put me in for murder."

"Yes they can, Messiah! Are you fucking stupid? They can do whatever they feel like it."

"J, I got it."

"You don't, Siah. Let me do it."

I felt guilty as they argued back and forth about who was going to greet the cops when they arrived. I bit down on my lip hard. Surprisingly I hadn't had a panic attack so far. Pops eyes kept flicking over to me to make sure I was still functioning okay and each time he looked at me he let out a sigh.

"Justus, just take Jaylen and leave it's not that hard."

After a while dad and I, ended up leaving. Pops forced us to. He was going to act like he was the only person here. Dad and I left easily. The cops weren't there yet but they were close. We heard their sirens.

Dad dragged my arm roughly pulling me down the street. It was dark outside. We walked instead of taking the car.

"Where does Lovely live at?"

I had to wait a second to talk. I knew my voice wasn't going to be accurate and if I started talking I would most likely end up crying.

"Far."

It's not that far. Maybe a ten minute walk but I knew dad was going to try to make me go over there for some time and I didn't feel like seeing him. He always knew something was wrong and I don't want him to know about anything regarding this.

"Okay you're going over Devonte house then." He started to walk a bit faster so I did to.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be there later."

When we did get to Uncle Vontes house dad and him immediately left after I was fully in the house. Dad was hesitant about leaving me but he said he had to. I sat on the couch as the TV played some random show. I didn't feel like paying attention to it. I was tired but each time I closed my eyes all I could see was the lifeless lady. I actually took someone's life.

I had went downstairs and saw dad talking to the lady. I was going to just walk back up the steps and not be bothered but pops seemed tensed, I couldn't see his face or anything but I knew he was. I hadn't been paying anything to anything that was being said but I caught a quick glance of the lady reaching his her pocket and pulling out a gun.

I saw how pops froze and tilted his head to the side just a bit in disbelief.

That's when I had panicked. I should've went to get my dad or something but I was scared that the second I walked away Pops would be dead. So instead I went to where my dad hid his gun downstairs. By the time I got back the lady was really threatening pops and he wasn't moving. He was just going to stand there.

Just as he was about to pull the trigger she noticed me and I pulled it first. Two times. Not once but twice. The first one with my eyes open and the second one with them closed.

I wanted to throw up thinking about it. I'm a murderer and I'm going to get away with it.

I slowly got up from the couch making my way to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me before hovering over the toilet and throwing up. I made it just in time. I leaned over throwing up multiple times within the past seven minutes. I barley had a break to breath. I hated throwing up. I can't stand it. Once I realized I was actually throwing up it only made me throw up more.

There were three knocks on the door and I paused.

"Jaylen you alright?"

It was Aunt Tanya. I don't think she knows anything that happened. Dad just dropped me off and him and Uncle Vonte immediately left.

"I'm okay."

I think I said it a little too low because she didn't say anything back to me. It was a long silence and I was still sitting on the floor scared that if I got up my stomach would fail me and I would be throwing up all over again.

"Do you need something? Are you sick?"

"No." I said it a bit louder. This time she heard me. She kept starting sentences and stopping mid way.

"Okay, if your hungry or something you know where everything is. You don't have to ask. Umir is in his room and I think Ureli is also in there."

I didn't say anything and soon I heard her foot steps walking away from the bathroom.

After sitting on the bathroom floor for nearly an hour I got up and walked the short length to the sink. I opened the cabinet with the attached mirror and grabbed the tooth brush that I had left here. It was a period of time where I stayed the night over here almost everyday and Umir and I stayed up playing his game.

I rinsed my mouth then I began to brush my teeth. I tried to avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible. I also tried to keep my eyes open instead of closing them like I usually would. I was scared to close my eyes for a long period of time. I could do was picture her on our floor.

It only happened about two hours ago.

I knew the feeling was going to get worse. Right now I was still in shock. When I the realization sets in it's going to get worse and I'm scared.

Lovely will never talk to me again. If he found out I took somebody's life he will be disgusted of me. First friend lost. I really care for Lovely and our parting was happening sooner than I had expected. I thought he would just get tired of me and leave. Instead it's going to be me leaving him alone.