Dream a Little Dream (On Hold)

1

I go into my room, gently closing the door behind me. I walk over to my piano, and begin to play. It is a soft melody, but sad. I join in my left hand, accompanying the right one. It makes the sad tune peaceful, and I hear the soft tapping of rain on the windows. I continue the song, making it sound happier. I slow it down to match the fall of the water on my window, and continue to play. I smile, but I know it is going to have to end because the song is becoming sad again.

I play the last note, and hold it until it fades out, completely disappearing. I stand up and walk over to the window, watching the droplets roll down the glass and leaving a small trail behind them. I begin to think about the dream I had last night, and sigh, it being the same one it has been for the last 2 weeks. Every. Single. Night.

————dream————

I look around me, seeing the broken city. I look down at my hands, and they are snow white. I quietly whisper "cataclysm," and the normal black electric destruction is white. I make it bigger, having better control over it than when I'm... normal. Not like this. I point it at the huge metal tower in front of me, and fling it at it. The famous monument falls over, and causes a giant splash in the water that floods the city.

In all of this destruction, I find peace. But there are also other emotions. There is the distinct feeling of loneliness, and the desire to have something. As if half of something is missing. Half of me. I stare down at my white and blue ring, and begin to sing the soft song. "Little Kitty on a roof, all alone without his lady..." I repeat that one line for only a minute, and then a white ring of light appears behind me, and Ladybug steps through.

I instantly know that the feeling of missing something was the other half of my ring; her earrings. She comes closer behind me, and I turn around. "Chat...Noir?" She asks, and then the dream ends.

———————

It ends there every single time. I always wake up in a cold sweat, and have a hard time falling back asleep. But, for some weird reason the dreams seem more like memories, and nightmares. I walk away from the window as I hear the soft clicking of heals, knowing that Natalie is coming to my room. I sit down on the piano bench and begin to play a happier, soft song. She opens up the door, and says in a flat tone, "Adrien, dinner is ready."

I nod and stand up, walking towards the door. I follow the woman down the stairs, and into the empty, cold dining room. I sit down in my seat, and she removes the cover from off of the top of my plate.

It is a simple dish, and very plain. It is a small piece of chicken, a salad, some fruit, and a slice of bread with butter on it. I mumble out a thank you, knowing that I am still going to be hungry after I am done eating it. Just like every other meal.

Once I am done, I stand up and go to my room, and head over to my desk. I scroll through the ladyblog, and find a short article on what it is like to be akumatized. Most of the interviews have been done by my class, everyone except Marinette and me.

I read:
Hey ladyblogers! Alya here, and today I am going to talk about what it is like to be akumatized. So, for me personally, I don't remember what it is like, but I remember the aftermath of it. I remember feeling ashamed, and bad. Guilty even. I didn't see any evidence of what I had done, but I saw it on the news, on lesser known blogs about ladybug, and several other websites. It made me feel awful about it really. I felt like I shouldn't show my face in public, or like I don't deserve all of the friends I have. It crushes your spirit. But, Ladybug and Chat Noir are so excepting and wonderful that they aren't judging you at all afterwards and they make you feel ok. Only for a few seconds though. And if you don't hang on to those few seconds, then the idea of you hurting people, of being used, becoming a victim because we felt normal, human emotions? It can destroy you.
                                                        Alya out

I read a few more from my other classmates, and browse through them for a while. I look at the time on my computer, and it says 10:24. I sigh and get ready for bed, being distracted the entire time. I crawl underneath the heavy blanket and lay down, surprised by how tired I actually am. I fall asleep fast, prepared for the dream that hasn't changed at all in the past few weeks. Except for tonight.

——Dream——

I sit on top of a familiar roof, looking out over the large wall trapping me in. I look down at my hands which are covered in dark black leather and sigh, watching as the sky becomes grey with clouds and moisture begins to fall from them.

Suddenly the gates that are my only escape, besides being a superhero, open and standing there is a familiar girl. Her pale skin shines in the light and her long straight hair hangs around her face, framing it perfectly. She is carrying the umbrella that I gave to her, and her outfit is the same. But, the look of sorrow and hurt and guilt are deep in her blue eyes, and the tear streaks down her face makes me want to reach out to her and hug her, telling her that everything is ok.

I try to move to comfort the girl, but I'm stuck to the roof that I despise. I try to call out my cataclysm, but my voice is gone, taken. I can only move my head and eyes, which lead me to see the next seen unraveling right in front of me.

I see the huge door of my house open, and the gorilla is standing there. Behind him is me. I speak, "Marinette? Come inside. What are you doing out there?" She hangs her head lower, and says, "A-Adrien. I don't think that we are right for each other." Her voice is broken, hurt. Like she is being forced. My face turns into one of confusion and hurt, and I ask, "What are you talking about? We love each other."

I think for a second. I am apparently dating Marinette here. She lifts up the umbrella more, and the look in her eyes clearly says that she doesn't want to do this. That she still loves me. "I don't love you... anymore." Her voice breaks when she says, 'anymore' and she runs away, carrying the umbrella close to herself.

I hear my pleas and wanting, my desire to see her. I look at myself, and hear me say, "I love her." The gorilla lets me through at these words and I immediately run after the girl at full speed, not caring that I could get hurt or something. My eyes trail up to the sky, and my own eyes do the same. My breath hitches in my throat as I see the black glistening butterfly flying towards the girl.

I want to be able to move so badly, but I am frozen to this spot. The dream me runs faster, and calls out for Plagg, transforming in the middle of the street. The other Chat Noir destroys the butterfly only an inch away from the girl I apparently love, and the last few words I say catch me off guard. "I could never let you get akumatized, M'lady."

——————

I bolt up in bed, and stare around me. I can feel my heart beat in my throat, spreading through me like rapid fire and going way fast. I am drenched in sweat, and I stare at the rising sun out my window. I look at the time and it says 6:30, so I decide to take a shower.

I cover myself in soap, thinking about the different dream. There is no way that Marinette is ladybug, and we would never be in love. And the chances of Marinette loving me? Too low to even try to figure out.

I turn off the cool water, and get ready for the day. I let the towel that I am using to dry my hair scramble my thoughts, keeping the dream out of my mind.