Sitting in the coffee shop Jess smiled. They had been out since earlier that morning looking through the baby shops in Manchester trying to decide on a theme for the nursery. After looking through the furniture sets Jess had finally decided on a neutral cream and light brown theme. After a lot of persuading Jess had finally let her Mum order the cream and pink nursery set she had been looking at constantly. The pushchair and car seat had been ordered.
"Hazelnut latte with a chocolate brownie for you." Karen put the drinks tray onto the table and passed Jess the drink and plate. She winked at Jess before sitting on the chair opposite her daughter.
"You know me far too well." She smiled at her Mum before taking a deep drink. She glanced around the coffee shop. She couldn't help but notice the teenage girls in the corner looking at her and whispering. She was becoming used to being the centre of gossip and while it didn't bother her as much anymore she couldn't help but let it niggle her slightly.
"Don't let it get to you darling...we're sorted and that's all that matters as far as I'm concerned." Karen knew what Jess was worried about. "I know it must be hard for you to have gone from being popular to being the centre of the wrong set of gossip." Karen knew that there was no point in pretending that Jess hadn't always been one of the most popular girls.
"To be honest in so many ways it was what I needed. For the first time it's given me a chance to stand back and focus on someone else rather than me. My little girl means everything to me already." She smiled towards her Mum for the second time, it still amazed her how close they were.
"I'm so proud of you Jess... " Karen reached her hand across and squeezed her daughters hand. "How about after this we go and have a look through the clothes and start putting some pieces together."
Jess nodded. "That would be amazing...at least it doesn't all have to be cream." She giggled.
"Somewhat appropriate that my girlie daughter is having a little girl. For some reason I'm not sure that a little boy would have appreciated being taught how to do his hair and make up." Karen giggled as she saw Jess splutter before smiling. They both knew how right she was.
...
"It always makes me laugh that baby clothes are always pale...surely that just means they get muckier even quicker." Jess laughed as she put back the pale pink dress she had been looking at for the past ten minutes.
Karen picked up the dress and put it into the basket of clothes she was carrying. "Well sometimes it's nice to make sure they look really lovely, even if the outfit only lasts half a day." Karen smiled and rubbed Jess' arm. "I remember after having you and Bex. Your Dad was always trying to put you in sensible clothes, and in the end I got so frustrated that I made sure you both had three really pretty outfits, I loved dressing you up and making sure that everyone told me how pretty you both were."
"I want you to be completely a part of this Mum...for both of us." Jess linked one of her arms into her Mum's. She knew that her Mum felt she had missed part of them growing up and she wanted to change that for her. She meant everything she said about her being a part of both of their lives.
"I know sweetheart, and I'm here...but I also know that sometimes I think that I know what's best...but having a baby is a big thing, and every woman reacts to it differently. You need to tell me how you're feeling and what you want to do. You need to decide when you're ready to go back and what you want." Karen smiled, there was a couple of things she had learnt over the past couple of years, one being that she had to learn when to listen to her kids and exactly what they wanted.
"Mum...you and Rob..." Jess looked towards her Mum took a deep breath. There were so many things she wanted to ask, but half of her knew that it wasn't her place to ask.
"Just ask Jess...I'm not going to shout...I want to know how you're feeling." Karen rubbed her daughters arm. She still couldn't get over how well they had all taken to her being with Rob.
"Do you reckon you'll have any more kids? I mean with Rob?" Jess looked towards her Mum, she knew now more than ever how much it must have hurt when she had lost the twins. She hated that she had never really given her Mum the sympathy and love she now knew that she would have needed.
Slowly Karen shook her head. "I'd never say never...but I don't think that's what we're about any more. It would be such a massive change in all of our lives for us to have another baby...and right now I'm enjoying being a Mum to the kids I've already got." She gently kissed Jess' cheek.
Jess slowly nodded. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you...I can't imagine what it must have been like." There was no need for her to articulate any more, they both knew that Jess was talking about the twins, and Karen knew what she meant. Nothing else was said about it, but there was a quiet acknowledgement between them about what she had meant.
"So...we've done quite a lot of baby stuff, which by my reckoning means that it's time to get you some more bits...you're getting bigger everyday and those school shirts can't be very comfortable any more." Karen picked up some final outfits before letting Jess link an arm through hers as they walked towards the maternity section of the shop.
