16 | Andi

2.3K 294 113
                                    

               I struggled all morning with what I wanted to wear

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.




               I struggled all morning with what I wanted to wear. Joie set me up a meeting with a friend of hers the very next day I spoke to her, I barely had a chance to plan a outfit. I didn't want to wear anything tight because I'm uncomfortable with my post-pregnancy body. My breasts were bigger and fuller, my stomach wasn't flat anymore; I had belly fat, my hips were wider and my thighs fuller as well.


               I loved Arya. But this body change I'm going through was bothering me. I didn't wear dresses since my stomach is noticeable. I threw out my shorts and crop tops and replaced it with sweatpants and cardigans.


               Apart of me felt as if I wasn't beautiful anymore.


               So instead of a nice, body hugging outfit, I dressed in a off-the-shoulder, loose fitting, ruffle sleeve top and high waist cropped pants. Heels wasn't my go-to shoe the way it used to be, so I chose to wear leather ankle booties instead. My hair was already straight and I whipped it in a sleek low bun and just accessorized with a pair of Jennifer Zeuner earrings.


               The binder with my business plan in it sat on my lap and my leg moved nervously. I stared around the clean and sleek office and my eyes stopped on the wall of pictures ahead of me and behind the desk. The woman that I assumed was Golden Bishop in the photos actually has golden brown skin complexion and big, beautiful head of natural curls. In majority of the photos with her was young coffee brown boy from a newborn to about eleven.


               But I didn't see a father in the image. She was a single mother and with me being one as well, I applauded her, especially having the strength to raise a black young boy in America.


               I'm extremely nervous raising a Black little girl in this world, so I could image the stress level of bringing up a Black little boy.


               The more I stared at Golden in the photos, her features started to resemble Ari Lennox.


               Before I could ponder on it further, I heard the clicking of heels approach, until they were behind me. "Sorry I kept you waiting. That meeting ran longer than expected."


               She came around and looked even better in person. Her body was banging effortlessly in the cap-sleeve crepe sheath dress, even after having a baby. It start to make me feel self conscious with me unloving my own body right now. She has her natural tresses in a elegant halo braid with big statement teardrop earrings.


               "Golden Bishop, my love." She offered me her hand. I stood up and shook her hand. "You're gorgeous."


Trial & ErrorWhere stories live. Discover now