Bend The Rules , Stiles Stilinski ² ✓

[ 52 ] the most beautiful form of self destruction

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FORM OF SELF DESTRUCTION

                               DEREK HAD SUFFERED ALOT OF PAIN IN THE COURSE OF HIS LIFE, but the thing is, that most of it was experienced first hand. He had gone through events that pained him directly, and he had to find a way to deal with that and find a way to move on from the hurt.

But what he was feeling right now was foreign, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, say, or how to act— because he wasn't used to this sort of pain. Right now, as he looked into Aspen's bright green, glossed-over eyes, after hearing that last sentence escape her lips— he felt an immense amount of pain for her.

"I'm terrified that I'll do
something to one of you that I can't un-do. And I'm terrified that I'll like it."

He could hear the guilt, the self-blame, and even the self-hatred in her broken voice. He understood now that none of what she had done was on her, she hadn't had a choice in any of this, she was simply cursed with falling host to the most ruthless and powerful spirit to roam the planet.

All the blood on her hands, all the murder scarred in her memories—none of it was her. It may have been her flesh and bones, but her mind and soul were still as innocent as ever.

But she didn't see it that way.

Derek knew he couldn't put himself in his shoes, he couldn't even attempt to understand what she was feeling or how she was dealing with this.

In her mind, she saw it all differently. While everyone else may waste every single breath trying to tell her this wasn't her fault, at the end of the day— she believed it was. She knew now that if she had just stayed away, and never returned to Beacon Hills— Stiles would be safe. If she had kept as far away from him as possible, she never would've jumpstarted the nogitsune inside of him, and he would've stayed himself.

Although Stiles will spend every breath telling her the opposite, Aspen believed she ruined Stiles' life.

Because how could she see it any other way?

The way she saw it, she put him in danger by falling in love with him in the first place, which ended up putting a massive target on his back for Deucalion to threaten. As she so delicately phrased it that night at the Glen Capir motel, she 'signed his death sentence the moment she fell in love with him.' And then now, the only reason Void chose the teenage boy as his host was due to his emotional tether to her.

Aspen was always afraid of how she fell for Stiles, all those years ago when she first discovered what the feeling was; the fluttery feeling in her stomach and the dreamy eyes and gazes he'd never notice. She was afraid of falling, because everything that falls— gets broken. But even still, she threw herself over that cliff of her greatest fear, knowing that in the end, she'd inevitably shatter. Because loving him, was the most beautiful form of self destruction.

Only now— she felt like not only did she shatter by throwing herself off that cliff, but she brought him down with her.

As the tears began to dry on her pale skin, Aspen's eyes were locked on Derek's gaze of sympathy, none of them having spoken up after Aspen's confession of fear.

The sound that finally cut through the silence like a knife was the sound of Derek's phone ringing yet again. He blinked, tearing his eyes away as he grabbed his cellphone from his pocket, looking down and seeing Ace's name flash on the screen. Hesitantly, he picked up the phone and raised it to his ear.

"We found him," Ace's voice came through the line with a tone of relief, "We found Stiles."

Derek flicked his eyes back to Aspen, who's irises had widened with what was probably both relief, fear and concern all at the same time.

"That's..." Derek spoke with a relieved sigh, "that's great, that's really good..."

"Yeah, turns out he was still sleeping when he made that call to Scott," Ace continued to explain, "he's okay— as far as we know, and now he's in the hospital."

Derek's face fell quickly. As Ace's words came through the phone, Derek noticed Aspen's eyes had fluttered shut. At first he didn't know why, maybe it was nothing, maybe she just didn't want to look at him anymore.

But Derek's worry and anxiety peaked completely when Aspen's eyes re-opened. They were no longer their bright vivacious shade of emerald green— but solid black. The same black they turned when Okami decided to let the teenage girl have consciousness only a couple minutes ago. The same black they turned when she was transitioning between herself and the demon inside of her.

And then they shut again. Only to reopen, back to a shade of green— but simply not the same. The green that re-emerged was darker, more faded, and just with the way the teenage girl now looked at Derek— he knew that wasn't her anymore.

A smirk of victory rose on Aspen's faded lips as she glared at Derek with an evil and devious stare.

"Ace... I'm gonna have to— call you back..." Derek said into the phone with his widened eyes stuck open, immediately going into panic mode, then hanging up the phone call.

"Your time with her is up..." the teenage girl spoke maliciously, and before Derek could register what she was doing, she stood up abruptly, her wrists and ankles still tied to the wooden chair with the poison-laced ropes.

And then she pushed herself backwards, and the wooden chair fell to pieces from the force of the fall. The possessed girl was then able to writhe her limbs away from the restrictive hold.

"Huh," she sighed with a breath, looking down amusingly at the broken chair, "not sure why I didn't try that earlier..."

Derek quickly made a dash towards her, his instincts trying to keep her in this loft and away from Stiles or anyone else that Okami could and would hurt.

As he got close enough to her, he let out a short growl, releasing his fangs, but not his claws. After all, he didn't want to physically hurt her, knowing the real Aspen was still trapped in there. He lifted up an arm and tried to make a swing at her, but the possessed girl was quick to catch his wrist mid-air, forcefully stopping him.

She wore an amused smile as she applied more pressure to her grip on his wrist, and then heard the sound of bones cracking, and Derek's body fell to the ground in reflex.

"You didn't really think that was gonna work, did you?" she laughed deviously, looking down at him as he grabbed his now-broken wrist.

She then scoffed, quickly re-adjusted her leather jacket and brushed some strands of hair form out of her face, and effortlessly strutted towards the door. When she finally approached it, she took one glance back, catching a glimpse of Derek trying to trigger his healing process.

"Don't worry, Derek," she spoke with a cunning edge,

"I promise not to kill anyone just yet."

//

she really said 'let's pull a natasha in avengers'

also ik this chapter is incredibly short pls forgive me