sixty-five

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     In McDonalds Isaac ordered chicken nuggets like a little kid and Jared watched him as he sat down beaming, cross-legged in the fake-leather booth. It was all so simple and yet so complicated- Isaac was so complicated, with such extremes of light and dark in him. They hadn’t spoken about the sleeping pills since Isaac told him but the conversation still sat nagging at Jared’s mind. What could he do about it? Did Isaac want him to do anything? How could he help?

     He’d left it since France, but surely they couldn’t leave it at one conversation…? He couldn’t tell, though, whether Isaac regretted telling him. He didn’t know if Isaac would ever talk about it sober.

    “Don’t worry about the Spanish J, you’re gonna ace it,” said Isaac with a gentle smile, misreading his worried expression. He leant across the table and snagged one of Jared’s chips, grinning as he popped it in his mouth. “Plus, it’s only mocks.”

    “I know,” Jared answered vaguely. “I-”

     He wanted to say, ‘You know I’m always here, right? For anything. To talk, to listen. Anything’. But that risked destroying Isaac’s good mood, and he knew, really, that Isaac would share things only on his terms.

    “Can I have a nugget?” he said instead, and Isaac’s nose scrunched up.

    “I only have six,” he whined, but passed one over to Jared anyway.

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