Amara Thorne
Every time I think my life can't get worse; I am proven wrong.
Either I am abandoned by a person to whom I have entrusted my soul, I am shown how little power I actually have, or I realize that I am only a means to an end.
This time it feels like it's all of it at once.
How dare he?
How could my parents allow that?
When will the day come when I will finally be seen as a person and not as a stupid pawn in their game?
They are the only ones from whom I really want recognition and it is precisely those people who have no respect for me.
I was sitting in this room, and it felt like it was me against the rest of the world.
Every second I was in there was worse than the one before and then when Alessandro started to talk about his demands, I not only felt like I have lost this battle but the entire war.
How dare he?
I tried to overplay it with humor but inside I felt like I had just lost my dignity, my worth and myself.
In this moment I wasn't a human anymore, just a toy.
But who am I kidding? I have never been anything else.
As soon as the door of the elevator opens, I rush out as quickly as possible. Immediately I head for the bar, and I can hear Adriano following me.
I still have a headache from last night, but I just need to get drunk ASAP. There is no way I can stay sober any longer after what just happened.
I take a bottle of scotch out of the bar and a new glass. I notice that Adriano is behind me, but I just ignore him and quickly fill the glass up to the brim.
"Amara, what the fuck are you doing? You can't just drink an entire glass of scotch at once." He says, now standing behind me.
Who the fuck does he think he is?
I roll my eyes at him and lift the glass to my lips. After the first sip, my throat is already burning like I would drink pure acid, but I just ignore the feeling.
My eyes start to water as I empty the entire glass without stopping once. I gulp, trying to make the uncomfortable feeling go away but of course, it doesn't.
It seems like it would burn every second more. I grab the bottle again. As I want to fill my glass Adriano suddenly grabs my hand.
"That's enough." He says and as I look at him, I don't see anger in his face, but concern.
"Let go of me." I hiss at him, and he immediately does as I have told him.
Still, he doesn't let me refill my glass but takes the bottle and puts it aside, so I can't take it without him stopping me.
"It's funny that you are the one taking the only thing that is helping me away from me, even though you are the one who is responsible for me needing it in the first place." I say, letting out a humorless laugh.
"I know you don't see it that way, but I am not the reason for your pain." He responses, looking me deep into my eyes.
"Pain?" I reply, raising an eyebrow.
Being in pain would make things so much easier.
"I am not in fucking pain. I wish I were, but I am definitely not." I add, nearly sounding hysterical.
For a second there is silence in the room, and we are just staring at each other.
"But yes. You are the reason for all my problems. You are the reason why I was in this meeting. Your father degraded me, and everybody just stared like I am an animal in a fucking zoo. Like an attraction." I speak up again.
He lets out a deep breath before answering.
"You really think this is easy for me, don't you? You think that you are so amazing that I want to marry you. In your opinion you are the only one trapped, but you are so wrong. I know that it is way harder for you than for me but don't think for a moment that this is easy for me." He replies.
"For years I have tried to be as far away from you as possible. I tried to forget you and not to have you on my mind all the time, and now? In a few weeks I must swear to you that I will love you forever. Forever? That's a really fucking long time. That's not what I wanted for my future either. You are not the only victim here." He adds.
Again, there is silence and I have no idea what I should say.
Fuck.
When does the alcohol finally start to work?
"Oh, and to your information. I am not my father. I am not responsible for what he is doing. You know that I think the things he said are bullshit and you also know that I would never allow him to be there in our wedding night." Adriano suddenly continues.
I let out a laugh.
"You are such a hypocrite. You act like you would do this for me. Of course, you wouldn't allow him to watch you while we fuck. Who would want their parents to be there while having sex?" I say.
"And I definitely don't blame you for your father's behavior. I hate you for pretending to be better than him, even though you are not. You are heartless, arrogant, reckless and you always put yourself before others. You are not only as horrible as your father, but you are also way worse. Alessandro at least knows what a monster he is. You don't." I add, talking in a degrading tone.
"That's not true." Adriano replies after a few seconds.
"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night."
"It's funny that you say those things about me even though you are the only hypocrite here. Don't act for a moment like you were better than me. You are not an angel. Yes, you once were one but you aren't anymore. You cling to your past self and ignore that you are no longer that person." Adriano replies.
"You always forget that we all were good once but that doesn't change the fact that we are evil now. I am not like my father but maybe you are like yours. I mean, you are manipulating everyone. You do it to get every fucking thing that you want. It doesn't matter who gets hurt as long as your wishes are fulfilled." He adds, stepping closer towards me.
"As long as the amazing Amara Thorne, the most powerful woman in the Organized Crime, gets what she wants, everything else is unimportant." Adriano says, now being so close that our bodies are nearly touching.
"Am I right?" He asks, grinning down at me.
"You have no idea what you are talking about." I reply, stepping away from him, not being able to look into his eyes.
"I am not like my father because we have nothing in common. You don't know me. Don't act like you would." I say, raising my voice.
I let out a shaky breath and look at my hands which I have put on the counter to support myself.
"You are right. I have no idea who you are, but you also don't know me, so don't act like you would." He answers, repeating my words.
Adriano walks closer towards the bar and takes out another bottle of scotch.
"Good night." He says before walking away, disappearing into a dark corridor.
"Fuck it." I say after a few seconds and turn around to grab the bottle that Adriano put away before.
Adriano ruined my plans yesterday so I will just get drunk until I pass out tonight.
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