Trudence Nesanti Cole | Trudy Englewood Mental Health Clinic, Chicago Illinois. _________________________
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
____________________________
" Can you roll up your jacket sleeves for me Trudence?" My counselor smiled softly waiting for me to comply with what she had asked.
" It's Trudy." I rolled my eyes correcting her.
Making sure that I turned my head in the opposite direction after removing my jacket. To prevent myself from seeing the look she would get on her face once she saw the scars and fresh markings that were etched all over my arms.
" I've been going through a lot the last few days, and haven't really had anyone to talk to about what's been on my mind." I muttered lowly beginning to open up to her about my bottled up feelings.
" Two weeks ago I got into it with my best friend, and us getting into that argument made me realize that I'm not as good of a friend as I thought. But I was only trying to help her because she was hurting so bad.."
I paused midway through my sentence shutting my eyes tightly due to the stinging sensation of the ointment being rubbed across my skin.
" That shit stings." I frowned pulling my arm away from my counselor beginning to fan it with my free hand.
" It's supposed to." She said quietly while staring at me with an unreadable look on her face.
" I'm worried about you Trudy." She sat down across from me struggling to keep her tears back. "Why? I'm fine." I lied flashing her a fake smile.
" You're blessed to even be alive, after the way you cut on yourself like that. And with how deep the cuts even were? You were only centimeters away from hitting a vein and actually killing yourself."
" So no you're not fine. And I don't know for sure that if you and your friend arguing made you want to hurt yourself? But Trudy you are so young and have your entire life ahead of you.." She placed her hand on top of mine hesitantly making my body freeze up. Once tears began to escape her eyes.
" And I know that in life with growing up how hard it can be for you to find a place where you feel you most belong. And it can also be hard to understand things because the world probably isn't everything that you perceived it to be as a child. But I want you to know that life is what you make it, and you can get through whatever it is you're going through because I believe in you." She squeezed my hand.
" I don't wanna cry in front of you, but thank you so much for the reassurance." I squeezed her hand back flashing her a weak smile.
Deep down inside it made me feel loved knowing that she had cared about me so much, to the point that she'd give me some words of encouragement. Because it's very rare for people to have counselors that actually care now days let alone any support system when going through what I'm currently going through. But knowing that she believes in me and has so much hope for me makes me want to go harder when it comes to doing this life shit.
