24

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This is part of a triple update. Imagine that. I had a lot of stamina honestly hehehe. 

24

Baking with Faye was honestly one of the best things I'd done since I came back. She was funny and sweet and I wondered how in the world the universe would make her meet a man like Matteo. If you compared the two, Faye was an angel next to just Matteo's human presence. She guided me when it came to measuring ingredients and mixing them while she made Vittore the errand boy.

It was his kitchen after all, he had to know where everything was. Most times, I found myself smiling lightly, genuinely because the moment seemed so normal, the task painfully mundane and I loved it. I sat next to Faye as she told me about herself, a bright spark in her eye.

"And then I found out I was pregnant with Vittore. I was so scared honestly. I had no one. I was an orphan, I hadn't even finished high school, I had no job, no close friends who would be helpful and no one I could talk to," she said smiling fondly as her finger traced the rim of her wine glass.

"What happened?" I asked leaning my head in my hands to watch her. Vittore had disappeared not long after the cookies went into the oven so it was just me and her now.

"Well first I hated myself. I did go to the club, I did get drunk and I did let Matteo take control of me. God I felt so ashamed. I couldn't believe I'd lost the one thing that made me pure. It's the worst feeling in the world," Faye said glancing at me.

I knew it was. I knew what it was like to feel so disgusted with yourself you'd do anything to get the feeling to stop. That point when you have so much self loathing it drowns out any rational thoughts. Faye looked away from me, sniffing slightly as she blinked some tears away, her happy demeanor vanishing slowly.

"I'd thought about aborting. It was literally the only thought on my mind and I'd actually gone to get it done but someone mixed up the room numbers and I was put in the place of a woman who'd gone for an ultrasound. I didn't say much as the doctor talked to me and it all seemed like a blur until they put that machine on my belly and the sound of Vittore's heartbeat filled the room."

Faye let out a light chuckle, tears spilling silently down her cheeks but they were more of relieved tears than sad. I watched her close, my heart wanting to know exactly how she felt in that moment.

"I knew then I couldn't let him go. I didn't care who his father was or how I'd got him, he was my baby and I'd planned on making his life so much better than mine. I was ready to do what I had to do to make sure of that," Faye said.

Her eyes held determination, strength and so much adoration for her son it was making me slightly uncomfortable. Here she was, a woman who went through hell for her child and in no way could I compare her to my mother. My mother had everything she needed to take care of me yet, she gave me away. She didn't even blink twice.

"You are so inspiring," I said to Faye, looking her straight in the eye. A blush creeped up her cheeks and she rolled her eyes with a scoff trying to hide it.

"You flatter me darling," she said and I shook my head, sitting up straight in my seat, turning to face her completely.

"I mean it. You found out you were pregnant, had thoughts of killing your child and ended up keeping him despite the fact that you knew you couldn't properly care for a child You were brave in one of the toughest situations and you struggled to create a life for your baby. I've met a few single teenage mums in my life but they all gave up their kids or couldn't take up the responsibility of being a parent," I said.

"But I look at you and I look at the son you managed to raise despite the hardships you had to face because of his father's line of work and all I can think is I wish you were my mom. Don't ever doubt yourself ok? You did it. You raised your baby and sure he's... not quite what you wanted him to be but you did good. I'm sure your young teenage self is proud."

Faye was full on sobbing now and I didn't know how to deal with crying people. I just awkwardly watched her as she held her face in her hands and let her tears flow. Her shoulders shook and her cries bounced off the walls of the kitchen, a haunting sound unless you knew the reason behind it.

"I'm not one to cry much. God I'm sorry," Faye said rubbing her eyes. I chuckled.

"No worries. I guess you need to let it out sometimes," I said with a shrug. I wouldn't know. I can't remember the last time I genuinely cried. Most times tears spilled from my eyes was all an act.

Faye turned to me and reached forward, putting her hands on my cheeks.

"You're a God send Dalia," she said and what's funny was that I'd thought that about her. "I don't know you that much but I would like to. You're so much more than I'd first expected when I saw you."

I placed my hands around her wrists and gently pulled them away. Her touch was gentle, caring and so motherly that it hurt. It hurt that this woman before me had told me more encouraging, hopeful and loving words than my own mother. I forced a smile on my face, trying not to look as pained as I was. It was weird. These days I felt so much more emotion and I didn't know if I was supposed to like it.

It felt wrong to love Faye's company, smile and laugh at things she said that were genuinely funny. It felt wrong for my body to shiver in Vittore's presence, for my eyes to seek him out when I entered the room, for my breath to unknowingly hitch when he got close and for my mind to constantly put hm at the forefront. All these feelings confused me and I wasn't sure if I should explore them or push them away.

I looked at Faye. Her face was red, eyes slightly puffy from crying. Tears stained her cheeks and yet, a smile still managed to grace her features. She looked youthful, happy and filled with so much to give even after her time with Matteo who I'm sure made her life hell.

How does she do it? I honestly wanted to know how if I wanted to get my old self back and also get my revenge while I was at it.

"I'd like to get to know you too," I told Faye, my voice genuine. She smiled at me a beeping noise sounded in the background.

"Oh! They are done," Faye said smiling and getting down from the bar stool. She grabbed mittens from the counter and put them on, opening the oven and taking out the two cookie trays. She set them in front of me and I smiled lightly looking at the gooey deliciousness.

Faye let out a happy squeal as she slid off her gloves, reaching for a cookie. She picked one up and hissed as it burnt her fingers, dropping it quickly only to pick it up again. It too a while but she finally managed to bite the corner.

"It's very hot honestly but still good," she said and I was surprised because she ate so little.

"You barely bit it," I accused.

"Child you don't know what you are saying," she commented trying to take another bite.

"Sure," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Just pick one up and taste for yourself," she dared, slightly glaring at me, a smile gracing her features the whole time.

I smirked at her and picked up a cookie and it took sometime to get it to my lips and I almost dropped it when it came close to burning my tongue.

Bollocks.

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