Dreamland Review Archive

Their Fall (D)

Book: Their Fall

Author: s_u_ciara172

Chapters Read: 1-7

Review By: divvyrora

Book Review

At a Glance:

Cover: Absolutely. Love. The. Cover. I'm not entirely sure why, but the minute I laid my eyes on it... I was blown away. It's so simple but so powerful. It's unique in some aspects, and the title really pops out on the cover because of the font/color choice. It's also not a typical Canva cover that you often find on Wattpad, which is refreshing.

Blurb: In my first read-through of the blurb, I noticed that you switched back and forth between past and present tense. It's a harmless mistake, but it can distract a lot of readers, leading them away from your book if they think that the writing is going to accidentally change tense often. With that being said, your blurb needs some fixing up. It's okay as it is, it sure reels readers in, but work needs to be done to fully hook, line, and sinker potential readers. Not on,y do I recommend making some changes in word choice, I recommend shortening it. Below I have your original blurb, and below each paragraph, I have bolded the edits I would recommend making:

Original: She didn't see the future coming in the form of a handsome neighbor, until it came and wrecked everything in her life.

Edits: Did she see the future coming in the form of a handsome neighbor? No. But did he come and wreck everything in her life? Maybe.

Original: Lily didn't ask for the shaman's views of her apartment or how 'cursed' it is. She didn't ask for a new neighbor who's creepy and is giving off major serial killer vibes. She didn't ask for any of the events that take place after that. And above all, she never wanted a war.

Edits: Lily didn't ask for a 'cursed' apartment. She didn't ask for a new neighbor with major serial killer vibes. And she definitely didn't ask for any of the events that took place after that. But above all, she never wanted a war.

Original: But what's life if it gives you only that which you asked for?

Edits: But what's life it only gives you what you ask for?

And that's all! I think that this edited blurb creates a lot more suspense than your original blurb, and keeping it short and sweet might help attract readers. If you would like to use this edited blurb, go for it! If not, that's completely okay, but take a look at my suggestions to improve your current blurb.

Tags: Honestly, this isn't a section to worry too much about, but I'm including this because tags can be quite important- especially on Wattpad when you're trying to gain reads. It entirely depends on the purpose of your book, and whether you want it discovered by others. Right away I can see that you have 24 tags on your story. Wattpad has a maximum of 25 tags/story. I recommend you go for the full maximum of tags, so just add one more, and you should be good. Now let's focus on the quality of your tags and how well they showcase your story, helping it get discovered by others. From a glance, you seem to have chosen great tags to represent your story. These tags have a greater pool of stories within, and ranking high in these larger tags makes it easier for your story to be found, and to be read by a greater audience. That being said, I noticed you also had a few tags with a few hundred stories using the same tag. I'd recommend keeping those tags as having these smaller tags can help your story get discovered with a small pool of people.