Atlas Grove, once a dancer with dreams of dancing under the stars, now lives petrified in the shadows of abuse. To escape her living nightmare she must keep her head down and work hard, being her senior year this is her last chance to get out. Altho...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Why are you still here?" My voice is raw and scratchy. Darkness surrounds the mess I've made of the room. My head rests on Atlas' lap, her fingers deep in my hair. I don't know how long we've been here, how long since I made my knuckles bleed and my mom hate me.
"What do you mean? Do you want me to go?" Her sweet, melodic voice caresses my ears in the silence, the voices in my mind being driven away by her calming tone.
I don't want her to go. I really don't want her to go. But she should. She should run away from me! Why hasn't she run from me! I sit up, already missing the warmth from her lap and hands in my hair. I get to my feet and pace in front of her. "No... I... Why are you here!" I run my hands down my face, my anger still simmers deep below the surface- I don't think it ever burns out but I'm exhausted, hurt and desperate... I want my mom to believe me, trust me, I need Atlas to... love me. I need to be a role model for my sister and I want my family to be proud of me.
"Blaze...?" She gets off the floor and treads lightly across the glass, placing her hands on my cheeks. Her eyes glimmer in the ray of moonlight streaming through the balcony door. Those very eyes I get lost in every time I look at her. She's so fucking gorgeous, so smart and kind. I reach out and touch her face, she falls into my palm and I run my fingers across her smooth skin. So beautiful. The moonlight crests little stars in her dark pupils, making her lips look a deeper shade of blush pink.
Too fucking pure for my shit. I drop my hand reluctantly and stalk away quickly trying to see through my blurred vision, tears threatening to grace my cheeks again. I yank open the balcony doors feeling the cold, frigid air attack my wet face. The stars shine through the thin clouds, the snow has stopped for now but the landscape of pine trees is coated in a thick white topping. It looks like a scene in Narnia, the magic of the night powering the beauty of the forest.
"Blaze, talk to me." I can feel her behind me but she doesn't come any closer, she doesn't touch me. I want to touch her, feel her, hold her. But I don't move. I brace myself on the metal bar, the snow melting under my warm bloodied hands. I breathe in the frozen air, my nose and lungs icing over, frost lodging itself into my body.
"Why are you here, why are you helping me? Defending me?" I strain through my teeth, I don't want to turn around. I can hear the vile anger in my tone, never at her, at her constant need to see good in me. I can't even see the good in me.
"Blaze-"
"No. You deserve someone better Atlas. Jesus, it was my fault you had a knife against your throat. I will never forgive myself for that. Never!" Her hand lands on my back, warm against my already burning skin. I feel like a furnace as the cool wind strikes my skin.
"It wasn't your-"
"It was!" I roar, echoing off the trees, I shrug her hand off my back and it falls hesitantly, " It's all my fault. I'm a nasty asshole who has absolutely nothing going for him other than the urge to use my fists as a way to feel satisfaction. I frighten people and I'm vicious. I'm untrustworthy and unreliable. My family hates me, my mom can't even look at me right now and I've put them all in danger! I've put my- my younger sister in danger... I've put you in danger!" My voice cracks, everything that's been boiling below the surface is breaking free. All the times I told myself I never had a chance with Atlas, the corruption that would follow if I did. The one thing in my life that has made me feel more alive than ever is on the verge of being ripped from me, all of my own doing. The past settles in my stomach and the disappointment and shame I've never been able to shift. The hatred that burns deep, inked into my bones. For me. For the one man who never failed to point out and use the darkness simmering in me until it overcame me and I was nothing more. My breaths come out ragged, "I'm manipulative, moody, I push people away to hurt them, to make sure they stay away from this part of me. I enjoy fighting and I'm probably not even going to-to get into college, I wouldn't blame anyone but me if I didn't. Why would you stay for that? You should be running away from me. You should go and find someone actually deserving of your time. So why are you still here Atlas? Please just leave. Why don't you just leave me? Please leave me." My voice has died of its roaring, now quiet, painful whispers struggling to come out of my throat. My whimpering pleads die in the black of the night, deep in the forest. I listen for a door to shut or footsteps to move away but I hear nothing. Every piece of me is out in the open, I tore it from inside of me where it's been locked tight and threw it out into the atmosphere for her to see.
