Ned Leeds

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Ahem, insert panic here.

Why would I need to insert panic there? Great question. Can... can I not answer it?

No?

Are you sure?

Well, let's just say it had been busy with school starting up again, and I barely had enough time to spare to be Peter's Guy in the Chair, so-

Wait! Did I just out Peter as Spider-Man? I MEAN- Peter? Spider-Man? That's ridiculous! Who would think that my best friend is Spider-Man? Yep, Peter's definitely not leading a double-life.

...You already knew, didn't you? Why didn't you just say so and put me out of my misery? I've got enough panic going on as is!

...jerk.

Anyways, I was panicking worse than when Peter had to disarm a new type of bomb. It was horrible! Beads of sweat dripped down my back, my hands were clammy, and my pits were getting stinky. It, uh, was probably time to reapply some deodorant.

Side note: who even decided that it'd be a good idea for me to write this bit? Writing isn't exactly my thing, y'know? I'm more of a tell-you-a-story-via-overly-long-ramble type of guy. And, do you really need to hear about my sweaty pits? But, apparently it's important for the files or something? I'm not sure how imperative it is for this bit leading up to the end of the world as we know it to be told by me of all people!

Oh well, let's get back to it. It's no use lamenting over.

After school let out, I sheepishly told Peter that I'd left my overnight bag at home, successfully buying myself an hour. First things first, I took the subway as close as I could make it to home. I, after all, had actually left my bag at home. Then, my mom drove me to a bakery so we could pick up Peter's cupcakes. May was originally going to try to make some, but - surprising absolutely no one - she burnt them. Of course, we didn't get enough of a notice to really order any ahead of time, so we'd have to make due with what was at the bakery. Mom handed me her card, claiming she'd rather wait outside and keep the car cool. We both hated the August heat.

I tentatively walked inside, anxiety welling in my chest. For some reason, I couldn't interact with people in costumer service positions without an internal freak-out. The shop itself though was nice enough. It was decorated with pastel colors and enlarged faux baked goods. At a glance, I knew what I'd have to settle for, but it was still worth a shot.

"Um, hi," I squeaked to the lady behind the counter.

"Hi," she chirped back, her blond bangs being gracefully swooped from her face with a free hand. Dimly, I could imagine MJ whispering about the health hazard. "What can I do for you?"

I glanced at the minimal options before me and grimaced. "You don't happen to have anything else, do you?"

She shook her head.

"Right," I sighed. "Can-can I have two dozen Nutty Buddy cupcakes?"

She smiled and nodded, quietly beginning to pack them. "They're all the rage these days; I'm sure you'll love them. Can I ask what occasion?"

"My best friend's birthday," I replied tightly.

"Really? How old is he turning?"

"Sixteen."

"Well, tell him that I wished him a happy birthday, okay?" I resister the urge to screw up my face at the thought. Peter didn't even know this cheery woman. What does it matter? "Okay, here you go, hun."

I offered her a strained smile as I inserted the card into the machine and completed the transaction. As soon as I could, I bolted out the door.

I got in the car and set the box on my lap distastefully. When I was little, I hated Nutty Buddies. I'm not sure why, but I could never find it in myself to actually like them. They melted and got all sticky one your hands. Not to mention - did they come in packs of two or was one bar half a Nutty Buddy? I couldn't handle that particular unknown very well. And, if Peter was anything like me (which he was because why else would we be so close friends?), he wouldn't be so fond of them either.

Oh well, I thought with a sigh, it is what it is. My phone buzzed with a news notification before I could really ponder much more on it. Something about a big company buying something outrageous? I barely remember what it was, so it must not be important.

Soon, we had arrived at the Parker residence. I wished my mom goodnight and told her that I loved her before heading inside the apartment complex.

"Happy birthday, Peter!" I beamed as the door was unlocked for me by the one and only birthday boy. I did my best to keep the treats on the down-low while we talked.

"Hey, Ned!" Peter greeted happily. "Glad to see you found your bag."

I chuckled. "What would you know? It was sitting on my bed the whole time!"

"Oh, look: Loser Number Two is here."

"Hey, MJ."

"Long time, no see, Ned," Percy remarked sarcastically from the other room.

"Heh, tell me about it, Percy."

As if on que, May Parker swept her way into the living room, Percy hot on her heels. "Hi, Ned! Here, let me get your stuff." And, just like that, May had acquired the cupcakes. "You're right on time for dinner."

Uh oh.

"Percy helped her cook, don't worry," Peter whispered.

Whew.

"So," May began as everyone entered the kitchen, "we made some meatball subs." I stared at their odd hue. "Yeah, I'm mot sure why they're blue, but I'm pretty sure that they're edible." Percy just smirked. Were they edible? Percy was an intimidating dude, so I wouldn't have put it past him to poison us all. But, he was the first person to start eating his portion, but it was pretty small.

Actually, why was Percy staying over? Not that I was against him being there - Peter's invited other people over before, but it seemed that the mysterious senior was set to stay the night, and he seemed a little too cozy to have just met May today. Something about it seemed... off. Peter and Percy shared something that I couldn't know about yet.

A small knot formed in my throat. I wondered what it was, and why Peter hadn't told me.

Eventually, we'd all consumed our food, and it was time to bring out the cupcakes.

Peter, contrary to my prior beliefs, was delighted at the sight. "Nutty Buddies are to die for," he giggled when he saw them.

"Facts," MJ agreed.

Percy just nodded eagerly, his eyes glinting with gluttony. "Best non-blue food there is," Mr. An-Apple-Day-Keeps-The-Doctor-Away grinned. I guess he made dinner blue on purpose then?

I forced myself to smile at them. How could I politely decline dessert?

Soon, we were singing Happy Birthday to Peter, and then there was a single cupcake perched right in front of me.

I knew what I had to do. I picked it up and unwrapped it gently so as not to make a mess. I took a bite, careful not to actually eat the Nutty Buddy part - not too bad. I messed up the second bite, and accidentally ate some of the forbidden treat.

It was... good?

Maybe I'd be eating more than one cupcake that night...

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