Dead Man Walking | Rick Grimes

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 One week, that's how long it's been—one long, excruciating week. Maggie and Sasha made it to the Hilltop safely; we made sure of it, and Maggie's pregnancy is progressing smoothly. That was the only silver lining in this bleak new situation we've found ourselves in. Glenn and Abraham are dead, and Daryl's gone... who knows if we'll ever see him again.

I felt tears prick my eyes as I rinsed out my mouth in the bathroom sink, taking the foul taste of vomit out of my mouth. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and frowned, my hands circling my stomach as it groaned in hunger. I'm both sickened by everything and hungry; what kind of bullshit is this?

"Sweetheart?" I turned and forced a smile as Rick stood with Judith outside the bathroom door. His blue eyes bore into me intensely, lingering on my hands as they fell from my stomach, "You good?" I nodded at him and walked out of the bathroom, my arms extending to take the baby girl from him. Judith beamed widely and leaned towards me, her tiny arms extended outwards so I could grab her.

"Yeah," I reassured him, holding Judith on my hip, "Just hungry is all." Judith grabbed a few strands of my hair that fell onto my shoulders, her hands playing with the ends.

"Yeah?" Rick leaned against the doorframe and peered down at me with a smile on his lips, "What do you want?" I licked my lips and felt my cheeks heat up as he moved his face closer to mine, his eyes flickering to my mouth. What do I want?

"Pancakes," I settled, remembering the recipe Carol showed me a few weeks back. Carol... I felt a frown pull at my lips as I thought of her. We still haven't heard from her or Morgan yet, but they're tough. I trust that they're fine.

"With what eggs?" Rick asked, genuinely confused. I shook my head and looked back at him, trying my hardest to remain in a good mood.

"We don't need eggs," I informed him, a sly smile spreading across my lips, "I'm a woman of many talents, Mr. Grimes. I'm hurt that you don't acknowledge that," Rick held his hands up in mock surrender and chuckled as I led the way to the kitchen.

~*~

We finished eating in silence, all our minds occupied by something. Judith sat in her high chair and shoved a small bit of pancake into her mouth, a drooly smile spreading across her lips as she offered a piece to Selena. Selena leaned over, covered her teeth with her lips, making a munching sound, and giggled with Judith as she quickly retracted her hand. I cherished mornings like this the most despite the silence between us. It was the calm before the shit storm that was coming our way. Today, Negan will be making his first visit to our community, and I was not looking forward to it.

"He's coming today, isn't he?" Selena asked, her voice low as she gripped Carl's hand tightly. I eyed their hands and couldn't bring myself to smile at how these two shared small, affectionate gestures.

"Yeah," Rick muttered, bringing a hand to rub his face. I eyed the two teenagers and leaned across the table.

"I want you guys to stay home today," I told them, "Take care of Judith, and please, please don't make contact with that psycho. Rick and I will handle it." I watched as a crease formed between Selena's eyebrows, and she opened her mouth to say something but immediately shut it. Her eyes were filled with worry as she looked at me, and her demeanor stiffened when Rick and I stood up from our chairs.

"Please," Rick nodded, "Listen to June and stay here."

"Okay," Both teens muttered as Rick and I took turns to place kisses on all their heads. Judith started to fuss as soon as we turned to leave.

"Mama," She wailed with her arms stretched towards me as she babbled the word repeatedly, "Mama! No go!"

I cast a final glance at the sweet girl and felt my heart quiver in my chest as Rick led us outside. It pains me to leave her when she's like this, but I have to ensure Alexandria is safe for her. Everything that Rick and I are doing... it's for our family. I fidgeted with my knife tucked away in my waistband, my fingers playing with the wooden handle. We turned down the sidewalk and continued walking towards the gate. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise as Spencer stood at the entrance with the main barred one closed, his back rigid.