From Fat to Phat

|55| True love

LOVE:

/lʌv/

feel deep affection for (someone).

Ellie's POV

Brooke and I will never see eye to eye. That's a given and we probably never will but somehow I feel like I understand her a bit more. I am a forgiving person too kind for my own good as Jazz would put it but I'm human after all and if there is a person I can't forgive it has to be her. Yet the boiling hatred I once had for her seemed to have simmered down. I admit it will take me time if not years to ever truly let go of the past but for now I'm at peace.

Hatred masquerades as an ointment to hurt when in truth it is no more than gasoline for the flames. More hatred only guarantees more enmity, more pain, more suffering never more healing or an increase of peace and love. It can be passed like a dark flame from one generation to the next, burning cold, waiting for the next opportunity for it to make havoc. Hatred, the twin of wrath, which leads to hurting another. Hatred makes us all weaker, a poison transmitted via ill-thought out words.

Yet in the bleak landscape of hatred there are always paths back to understanding and empathy, though sometimes they are barely threads in a vast wilderness of negative emotion, I want to take what Dr. Williams says and take charge of my life I want to let all the hatred I hold for this girl and let it vanish away. I want to wash away all my sins that I've committed with this feeling of hatred and replace it with forgiveness.

I don't think she told me everything on her mind just that her mother and Jacob's father were divorcing. I wasn't going to pry or beg to tell me the full story cause honestly I didn't want to talk to her longer than I had to. But the look in her eyes when she looked at me was the same way everyone looks at her with envy. What exactly was she envious about? It can't be true right, Brooke Bailey Garfield Preps elite queen bee she couldn't be jealous of me it's impossible.

As soon as she realized that she had actually told me what was bothering her she quickly pulled herself together with no tears in sight. It was if she had turned on a switch in her brain she quickly collected herself. She was back the Brooke I knew who seemed bulletproof like nothing in the world would break her.

"Forget I said anything, and if word gets out about this I will make your life a living hell mark my words." She wasn't even looking at me, she was applying lip gloss. She pushed her bra up, put some eye drops in her eyes and fixed her mascara. I wondered how long it had taken her to master such a trick of turning emotions off.

"Got it?" She finally looked at me and she looked like she hadn't even been crying.

"You are braver than I thought." I blurted out without thinking the surprise was there for a split second but she quickly covered it up. I chose to completely ignore her threat because for some reason it wasn't like the others she had said before it's like she had said it but didn't mean it.

"I'm taking that as a yes to shutting up about this." She grabbed her bag from the sink cabinet. And she began walking towards the door but she stopped and looked back.

We looked at each other with no words spoken but somehow it felt as if the other already knew what the other meant to say.

"I'm not brave at all. But you......you are far much braver than me." She said with a sad smile on her face before I could say anything she left the bathroom and for five swords all I could hear was the clicking sound of her heels as they disappeared into the hallway.

Whichever direction my day was supposed to take, never in a million years would I ever think this would happen.

Several minutes I stood there trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. I ended up just leaving the bathroom and aimlessly walking towards the debate room. I felt arms wrap around me and a chin placed on the top of my head and I yelped. I turned around and looked at Jacob.