Chapter Twenty
I'm scared for the funeral. It's in less than two hours and I haven't seen Dominic all day. He left early this morning to go to the store and he hasn't come back. All I got was a note and directions to the funeral home. I've tried calling him but each time it goes straight to voice mail. I'm so worried about him.
"So you want to try his phone again?" Justin asks. He came over about noon today and has been with me ever since. If he wasn't here I'd probably be panicking. Well Panicking even worse.
Seeing that I've already called him five times in the last hour, I figure it might be a bit much. But who care! "Yeah, I"ll call him again." I call his number and wait. No answer. "Where could he be?"
Justin just shakes his head. "I guess he just wanted some time alone?"
I know this is probably the answer, but it's not like Dominic to leave and not tell me. He could have been in a horrible car accident! Oh god! What if he's dead?! Maybe some stole his car! What if today depressed him so much he'd- no. Dominic wouldn't ever do that to me. Or would he?
"Justin what if he's dead?!" Hearing those words make me sick to my stomach.
"It will be fine Ty. Dominic is fine. I promise you." Justin sighs and tells me to sit down.
"If he's fine why doesn't he answer his phone?" I shakily sit down.
"Why is it off?"
He shrugs. "Don't know. Now wait here. I'll get you some apple juice."
Apple juice is the only thing that can calm me down. Justin knows me so well.
When he returns, apple juice in hand, Justin hand the juice box to and sits as well.
"It's a good thing you're pretty much ready."
I nod and sip on my apple juice.
"It's going to be okay you know. It'll just take some time."
I gulp down a mouth full of the juice. "I know. He just seemed so happy the last few days. What if that whole time he was faking it to make me happy?" I crinkle my brow. "Fake being happy to make me happy. Justin! I was supposed to be making him happy! Not the other way around!"
"Ty calm-"
The ring of the home phone cuts Justin off. I lunge for it and press the answer button. "Hello?"
"Hey babe." I'm so relieved by the sound of his beautiful voice. Dominic isn't dead. He's okay.
"Where the hell are you?!" I hiss. I don't mean to be mean, I was just so worried and all my emotions are spilling out. "I was so worried! I thought you we're in a car accident or something!" I'm crying now. "Oh Dominic I love you so much! I'm so glad you're okay! Where are you?"
"On my way home. I went to the store."
I blush in embarrassment. "Why didn't you answer my calls?"
"My phone died. I started charging it in the car and saw I had 27 missed calls. All from you." He chuckles. "I'm sorry about making you so worried. I didn't mean to."
God I'm so stupid for being so worried! I should have known he was perfectly fine. But that still doesn't explain why he left directions. "Why did you leave directions if you were coming back?"
"They're for Justin. He's not riding with us." I hear him holding back laughter.
I can't believe I didn't think of that. It all makes perfect sense. Maybe I'm stupid?
"I'll see you when I get there babe. Be ready." We both say bye and I hang up.
"Did he clear it all up?" Justin asks.
"His phone died."
He shakes his head chuckling softly. "I told you he was fine."
"Why was he at the store so long though?" I frown. He left at nine this morning.
"He probably needed to think." Justin says calmly.
"Okay..."
I'd never been to a funeral before so I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't exactly sure on what I should say and do to make the day not so hard on Dominic. If that was even possible. But I tried my best until he started crying half way through it. That killed me.
"Thank you for coming with me today." Dominic whispers as we walk out back of church where the cemetery is.
"I wouldn't have made you go through this alone." I'm actually shocked at how many people were actually here. Dominic never said he had such a huge family. That kid Ben was even here, but unlike the others all dressed in dark dressy clothes, he's wearing a deep purple hoodie and gray skinny jeans. No one seemed to be bothered by his clothing choice, so I figure it's normal for him.
I'm happy when this whole experience is over.
"I'm so tired." Dominic mumbles, pulling the tie off his next and sloppily throwing it on the ground.
"Me too." After the funeral we went to dinner with Dominic's aunt and uncle. The whole time they thought I was just his friend, he never corrected them. And maybe I might be thinking about this too much but why wouldn't he? Is he ashamed of me? I mean it's now obvious Ben is gay or something so it's not like he'd be the first in his family. Everyone seemed to be fine with Ben.
Maybe he was too upset to correct them?
But what if he really is ashamed of being with me. I never thought about Dominic one day wanting a family. I can't give him one. All I can give him is me. What if that's not enough? Can someone like me ever be enough for someone like Dominic? He may say he loves me but how long will it be until he realizes I can't give him all he needs?
I hope it isn't soon.
