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The whole thing happened two days ago

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The whole thing happened two days ago. I just woke up and lay in bed, not wanting to open my eyes because I know that I'll have to face everything all over again.

I have my first ultrasound appointment today. And it will the first time I will see Ash. I'm looking forward to neither of them. I really don't. I expected Mason to be in the office. But he isn't. He wasn't in the office since the accident. He was always with me.

Just like right now, keeping me close to him, his warm breath tickling my neck occasionally. Turning around I place my leg on his waist and hug him. I'm just trying to get my mind off of everything. The sickness is awful and it really takes much of my power that's left.

"Morning." He says with a still very raspy voice as he nestles his face more into the crook of my neck.
I don't answer him. I just pull him closer, inhaling his scent and wanting to feel his breathing against my body.

"I'm scared." I tell him. He knows what I mean. He's scared too. "I know. Me too, angel.... I'm going to make breakfast, yeah?"
But I don't let go of him. I hold him tighter, craving his warmth. "Can we please just stay in here until we go?" He must hear my shaky voice because I'm about to cry again.

But he understands and we stay in bed until we go to the hospital.

_____

We're standing in front of the hospital, both not knowing when's the right time to go in.
I have to keep myself from bursting into tears. Mason must sense it so he grabs my hand gently and then pulls open the hospital.

I hate the smell in hospitals. Everything that's flooding your nostrils is the disgusting smell of way too much disinfection. Everything is so cold.

Mason guides me to a door. Must ba Ashleys'. Looking up to Mason, I see his watery eyes that are already looking straight into mine. "Do you want me to get us some coffee? Or.. tea?" I can't drink coffee. But I still nod because I know that he wants to give me some time to be alone with her.
Because that's exactly what I need. I give him a nod, lean up and kiss him.

"I love you." He says as he walks away. I have already pushed down the door handle but I can't open it. Not now. What will she look like? What if she doesn't look the same?

But knowing that there's no way around, I slowly open the door and immediately spot her as soon as I look into the room. She does look the same. Just a few scratches and a bandage wrapped around her head.

There's a chair next to her bed so I walk over and take a seat on it. When you look at her a little bit more, you can see bruises everywhere on her body. "Hey Ash..." I say as I take one hand of hers and kiss it, tears already falling down my cheeks.

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