empathy

TWELVE

Okay, before yall read this chapter, I wanted to warn you that there is mention of racism, rape and slavery ( of some sort). It doesn't really get into the topic from the point of a victim. BUT, the whole racism point is further and a little deeper mentioned from the point of view of someone, who believed in it. 

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a good read! 

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"What's with your fascination with history?" Anastasia raises a brow as Jasper takes a seat opposite her. "Hm?" he glances over at her with a raised brow.

Why is she talking to him? That doesn't seem like her, or well at least not from what he has experienced of her. 

"You know, over the last week we have sat together and read, I have never seen a fictional book in your hand. Never less a book not concerning history. Or war, for that matter." she points out. "Why is that?" Anastasia adds. "Well, I guess I just enjoy reality over utopia." Jasper replies.

"There's no one to enjoy reality because reality sucks. Reality is the thing showing you day after day what you can't have whereas utopia is a world you can escape to in order to flee said reality. And I'm sure there are people out there, who rather face the pain and misery reality brings, you don't seem like the type." she states, her voice so rid of emotions one might believe she read a paragraph in a book she doesn't like. "Maybe I'm just a realist." he retorts. "Or maybe you're afraid that once you experience utopia, your life will suck even more."

"The trap of reading, right? Once you start you won't ever be able to see life as you did before. Because with every word and with every page your expectations change. With every book, your dreams become bigger. And with higher expectations and with bigger dreams, there come more books." Anastasia scoffs. "Or maybe I just like to read about the fundament of humanity." Jasper glances down at the book in his hands. "By reading about its worst sides?" she raises a brow at him before getting up to walk and sit beside him.

"Here." Anastasia hands him what she was reading. "I guess it's not a warfare book but at least it has to do with history," she comments. "You complained to me about not reading fiction but are not reading it yourself." he states somewhat amused. "I didn't complain, I observed." Anastasia deadpans. 

"Anyway, it's an autobiography that addresses real issues in the world. So, I think you might enjoy it, but I'm not sure." she shrugs, taking the edition of 'we were soldiers once... and young' out of his hands. "Real issues?" he parrots. "Yeah. Childhood stuff, racism and rape and all that. And it takes place in the 30s or 40s or some. So, there's also this world war two depression." Anastasia shrugs, more or less unbothered by all it.

"It will lead you away from war, at last." she points out.

Jasper's eyes fall upon her in a contemplating manner before he turns to the book she has pushed into his hands. I know why the caged bird sings. Sounds quite... poetic. 

Racism. It's the word that made him hesitate. Should he really read this? But then again, is this not all the more reason for him to read it?

His beliefs are a part of his life he is not proud of, probably even less than of his time with Maria. His time with the Mexican coven turned him into the guy he is today, it has shown him the best and worst sides of himself and he is grateful for that. 

But his beliefs, the majority of his childhood, did just about nothing for him. Neither was it his choice nor did he really know what it means. So, he can't even say it made him who he is. But he can say that it brought nothing but hurt and pain for him and the people he went against. The only good thing it brought was the pride of his father; the only question is: was his pride worth this? 

If Jasper could change what he did in the past, he would without a doubt. He would have joined the North, simply because they didn't defend slavery. He wouldn't have stood up to his father and his racial worldview. He would have never let his father force his beliefs upon himself. But he didn't. He went along with it.

"Hello?" Anastasia snaps her fingers in front of his face, watching his head whip to hers. Frowning a tad as her eyes meet his, she watches the dark - almost black - ochre fade ack into a light golden colour. "You... drifted off," she states. 

"Apologies, I... I didn't mean to scare you." the little itch of fear did not go unnoticed by his gift.  "Oh, believe me. It takes a lot more to scare me." Anastasia states. 

It wasn't really fear she felt, it was more of a little shock. Like this moment right before pure adrenaline kicks in on a roller coaster. It's that short moment in which your heart drops to your knees and you feel as though you're falling without anything to catch you. But then, there's pure joy. And adrenaline. 

"So, are you gonna read? Or are we gonna talk anymore? Because, if so, I should probably warn you my social energy has run out about two minutes into our conversation and with every passing word, there's a high possibility, I'm just gonna get annoyed and... dismissive."
she changes the subject again. "Well, we wouldn't want that. Enjoy your read, ma'am." Jasper means, his head bowing in a somewhat nod. 

Tilting her head to the side, his eyes watch her lips turn into a straight line in order to hide the smile threatening to spread on them. 

Grinning in victory, he turns back to the book in his hands, adjusting his seating to have his shoulder bump hers ever so slightly before they spent the remaining few minutes of the lesson reading. 

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So, this chapter is kind of a little short, I think?

And I'm also not really happy with it but I figured it's better than nothing. 

What did you think of it? 

Especially the part about the insight in Jasper's past because I feel like the books and movies make him out to be a little more of a hero than he was. And don't get me wrong, I adore Jasper and I think he deserves all the love but when I first read Twilight, I used to think of an honourable man for fighting in a war until I learned what the south has actually fought for.

And of course, there is no evidence that Jasper was for slavery and all but on the other hand, he did fight for it, so I have always been a little conflicted. But this is only my personal opinion and I have not really a good idea of the civil war ( other than what I have read online ), so please correct me if I'm wrong.