𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ✔︎

||27||

Just by the blossom of the last bud of spring,the sky had been taking slow steps near darkness as analogous to my life. It was again,the hardest part,the flows of unsaid sadness,welled up tears and sounds of a weeping heart. To leave. Bilal had to go again, because it was indeed his job. Despite he said,he had almost reached on the urge of losing his post,the authority considered his case. They did some professional changes in his regard,his post was demotioned,but still back at his hands. He had to go,as we needed our livelihood. Just as the cruel reality is, we can't leave holding each other close. Like from the dawn of civilization,men had to toil their sweats and blood for a morsel of food,to feed their family. There were frequently sessions of operations that had to be done, precisely not only to keep Bilal's job stable but also it was his utmost duty towards our country. He simply couldn't earn without working.

But there was a different kind of serenity,in those vacancy of his absence. A familiar smell of living. Living in loneliness. There was a feeling that I couldn't decipher in missing him. Missing the words rolling from his lexicon. The raw smell of earth and coffee that came from his cologne.The movements that were slow,the missing parts of everything that I was fond of. Him.

The serenity was probable,as it was only we again. Just I and Ma.

Our bond was now more understandable. I was bound with the nature of that last life. How fast people can adapt the climate of life is wonderingly beautiful.

You were born to bear,once you have borne-the purpose of your bearance is forgotten but now,it tastes bearable . I realized this between every regularity I was used to then. But does life ever let us walk on the same track?

Telephones were now a part of our life. My eyes used to stuck at the grey old set with wire just before the night fell into the ocean of darkness. With the sky painting deep blue with purple,my patience kept decaying. I knew Bilal would call,even for once.

The usual talks over telephone were typical like how we were doing, how's Ma's health,what we need,how far the groceries are needed,when the doctor's appointment is etc. I would ask if he was eating properly,which operation they were executing and more relating to his day to day life. But every time I took the telephone near Ma's ear, stretching the wire to its highest reach,there were silence. From our side.

Bilal constantly wished Ma to respond with a sound, little a moan or an undescribable wave of breaths. Ma was neutral,she smiled mildly when Bilal used to ask her if I was torturing her with my extra care. Sometimes Bilal repeated the same questions over and over in scarcity of sentences.
Ma could not speak. But she could feel. So all her son wanted was to feel what she felt.

" Ma,Are you fine?" Bilal would say, inquiring with concern. The corner of Ma's lips curved, into a new blooming smile. She only nodded.

" Ma,I am fine. We are doing great in the operation,you know. I am eating well. Are you?" Bilal did the both tasks, asking and answering.

" Ma,do you have any problems? Is your ligaments hurting? Is your skin dry? Does your teeth pain? Do show it to Husna, please. Show her where it hurts. The doctor will come to see you next month "

" She's fine,I checked on her carefully" I said,from aside.

Time was cruel.

Someone from other side must had been kept calling Bilal to cut the phone. The each second passing would suffocate the air in my lungs. My failed desires to halt the clock hand. Wish, that calling man never came. Wish,the telephone was not cut. Wish the voice from the other side hadn't ended. Wish,we could talk for a more minute. But no,the wishes in my heart died,everyday. Because the call was cut,with a small goodbye. Half muttered prayer. The soothing voice of a son mused in silence and a liner sound ringed.

And we waited for tomorrow,to juvenile the moment again. A tear drop unconsciously fell from Ma's eyes which were then grey,faded and vague.

I would realize,the number of her phone calls were not many anymore. She was counting days.