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Reneé Trinity Jackson Chicago, Illinois
"I still love him and I feel so sick, like what type of person does that make me?" Reneé shouted from the door as she shut it and walked into the living room holding a bag full of Wendy's.
Jalen watched as his friend handed him the bag and dragged herself to the kitchen to grab the whole 2l bottle of Sprite, then she slumped down next to him. Reneé released a deep sigh before she glanced at her only friend who was looking at her with concern.
"I'm just gon' go ahead and say it. You ain't sick for still loving him, it just means that your love runs hella deep and that's okay." Jalen began as he rubbed her back. Reneé smiled as she ate some fries, she was torn.
"But one thing I can say for sure is, just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to tolerate all their bullshit."
"There are plenty of good quality, black men who will love you, treat you right and respect you without you having to get shot or wait for them to heal." Jalen spoke seriously.
He didn't want his friend alone but he also didn't want her to continue putting herself in a toxic relationship in the name of love.
"I want him so bad, Jay. He's all I dream about and all I think about." Reneé confessed as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall.
"I get it." Jalen said softly as he pulled her into a hug and soothed her by rubbing her back. Her sobs pained his heart so he spoke up again.
"How about this?" He said as he pulled away and looked at her, "In that whole year that he's going to be in that institution, focus on yourself and your grind. Simply focus on self love, do whatever you want and just live your own life."
"And when he comes out, meet him and see if the love is still as strong. Sometimes we cling onto the love we got for others to distract ourselves from the lack of love we have for ourselves." Jalen explained, he knew this pain that she was feeling very well.
Reneé looked into his eyes for a few seconds before she began nodding her head slowly. That plan sounded great to her, she'd focus on herself knowing that in the end, she'd be happy with whatever decision she made.
The pair hugged again before sharing out the food and watching Jalen's favourite movie, Diary of A Mad Black Woman.
"Ion know why you like this damn movie so much." Reneé giggled as they watched the drowning scene.
