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"lovely lily!"
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lily had refurbished her flat, bought a new sofa and new curtains and a decent wardrobe for her clothes to be treated with care. she had shampooed her carpets, which was a hassle, and deep cleaned her kitchen from top to bottom. it sparkled right before her eyes. the satisfaction of cleaning vanished quicker than usual, she looked at her watch and saw it was only three in the afternoon.
with a huff, she sat on her new sofa comfortably and put on the television, she tucked her feet under her and steadied her mug of tea on her knee. she watched the tv but she couldn't ignore the thing that distracted her, it was always lingering in her mind. the loneliness. lily evans was lonely.
"hey, marls, do you want to go out tonight?" she had asked marlene earlier that day.
"i can't tonight, lils, i'm going to wales for the weekend with dorcas," she had said distractedly, almost immediately putting the phone down.
"are you busy tonight?" lily asked mary over the phone, just like she had last week but was let down.
"i've got a date with louise, remember her? you met her at the christmas party," mary said, lily pretended to share her excitement but frowned deeply when the phone was put down on her...again.
lily looked at the telephone in her hand as if it had just starting singing a crude song when she realised she began dialling alice's old home number. she threw the phone down on its dial and backed away from it, alice and frank had been put into st mungo's years ago...why would she go to call alice, after all these years?
lily got changed into her pyjamas at eight in the evening, she didn't have dinner and she couldn't bring herself to cook anything. she went around her flat to water her plants and climbed into bed, alone. it was so strange for lily to feel this empty, she hadn't ever minded being alone or doing things on her own, she was a relatively independent person. perhaps she was used to being alone but not used to being lonely.
she rolled onto her side and attempted to go to sleep, it was early but the sooner she would fall asleep, the sooner work would come and the sooner she could speak to regulus and the rest of her colleagues...and that's when it hit her, she didn't work on weekends and it was friday evening.
lily didn't realise she was crying until a tear dropped onto her hand as she lay on her side. she sniffed and let herself cry, but it wasn't the same crying as she did when she truly upset or devastated, the tears simply fell from her eyes and she didn't even have to blink or flinch. it just happened like water drips from a faucet. she wiped her nose on the back of her hand and closed her eyes, desperately wanting to sleep, to have a break from this feeling. it followed in the morning, it'll come creeping through the walls she'll try to put up against the demons, she always did and it always failed.
