Yellow || hs au

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   I stare down anxiously at my untouched latte, the white foam on top sitting nicely at the surface in a pretty design. I left the hospital early this morning, in desperate need to shower away the sticky tears and awful feeling of spending so much time in the hospital. I wanted to wake Harry up to let him know I was leaving, but when he didn't even stir when I struggled out of his grip like he usually does, I decided he needed the sleep. And besides, he probably wouldn't have gone back to sleep and instead just stayed up, arguing with me about leaving.

I also built up enough courage to go to my History class today. Although I paid zero attention to the notes that I was aimlessly copying down, I still feel good that I went. I've missed about a full week of classes so far, and my grades are beginning to slip. Although it feels like I haven't missed much class, I've missed at least two quizzes, I forgot to turn in a couple of old assignments that are partially done, that including an antler art project. Needless to say, I have some work to get done.

I sigh quietly to myself and I push away the latte, my stomach to antsy to hold anything down. So instead, I open my laptop and pull up one of the missing quizzes I have to make up for my English class. I stare at the first question, reading it over and over again and still not understanding. I shake my head in confusion, continuing to read the question, then the five possible answers over and over again.

   I let out a huff of frustration, not being able to get my mind to focus. It's three in the afternoon and I haven't heard a single thing from Harry or his parents. I've been texting back and forth with Zayn and Tiff, but it's light conversation about how we're all holding up. Mostly me. I know they're just trying to help me and keep my mind at ease, but it's not working. I won't feel better until I see Harry.

   I give my screen another glance before I exit the quiz, ignoring the warning that my work won't save, and I close my laptop all together. Forcing myself to do this work won't get me anywhere, and I know I won't retain any of the information. My grades will suffer either way, I'd rather be in the right head space to turn everything in, knowing it's my best work. I gather the rest of my things, pushing my full mug to the end of the table before I leave the warmth of the café.

   I tug my jacket close to me as I walk towards my apartment. The wind is strong and blows right in my face, the cold nipping at my exposed skin. I walk slowly, easing in and out of the business of the sidewalk, once again feeling like such an outcast in this city. It seems that everywhere I turn, I'm faced with a new person who has meaning, and who knows exactly what their purpose here is. I wish I could walk with the confidence they have.

   I feel the vibration of my phone in my hand, and my heart lurches into my throat when I see that Harry is the one calling me. My pace immediately slows and I stare at the call for a moment, preparing myself. I don't know how he's going to feel or act, and I want to make sure I don't sound so worried. After a moment, I swipe my finger across the screen, holding the device to my ear and I continue walking.

   "Hi baby." I answer, my finger nails beginning to dig lightly into the palm of my hand as I listen to the crackling on the other end of the line. He doesn't answer right away, and I try my best not to let my mind wander. "Harry?" I mutter after a moment, hearing shuffling followed by his throat being cleared.

   "Sweetheart." He breathes, my heart fluttering in my chest. "Where are you?" He asks after a moment. His voice is quiet and husky, and I just know that he's holding back telling me what I already know. I roll my lips in and back out of my mouth, the wind continuing to bite at my exposed skin as it picks up.