Life

19

Graduation is around the corner and I was finally able to pay the rest of my tuition. I quit working at the club because it was beginning to be too much. Sasha was always staring and giving the side eye. Kim is the only friend I have from that club. She's the only female I can trust. All the other bitches in there was just being petty and hoeish cuz I'm with Killa and they not. I had to fight a few on my last day there cuz they was talking slick out they mouth.

The manager was about to get it too cuz he tried to make it seem like it was my fault. I cursed his ass out and made the bouncer chin check him. The bouncer "Larry" was the first person I met when I came here for a job. He always looked out for me and now that I left the club things would probably be different. I started thinking about my life more and how I really want to see my parents.

I honestly need to apologize for letting Gerald get into my head and making me stop all contact with them. I was dumb and in love. I thought that being with him was right but it was honestly and truly a dumbass decision. I put Gerald before anything thinking that he would change my life for the better when it was only a horror show.

Sometimes I still get nightmares from when he use to beat me. There were days when I couldn't walk or days when I couldn't talk. I feared my safety but somehow wanted to stay because I was stupidly in love. When it all came down to it, I realized that he was only doing that to show off and make it seem like he wasn't this lame punk dude. It was as if he needed validation from others and I was the same.

I had my head screwed up in his web of lies and lines. It was a blessing when I met Roman. He gave me hope that all men could change if they met the right woman to change their ways. I think I am that woman who changed him for the better. At the time of me meeting him I didn't even know who he was or the what his name held in the streets. He just seemed like a regular fuck boy looking for his next hit it and quit it target.

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"Baby why you up this late and you know I hate when you sit by the windows at night." Roman said wrapping his arms around me

"I just been thinking about my family and how they are doing. I really want to go visit them."

"Then let's go visit them."

"I sent them tickets to my graduation. I hope they come. It's been years since I've seen or heard from them and I know they are disappointed in me and how I went about things. They probably don't even want to speak to me anymore or love me." I laid my head back on his chest as a tear fell from my eye

"The past is the past and you can only learn from your mistakes. Yes you might have did some stupid things that got you caught up but you aren't in that situation no more. You got away and never looked back."

I turned around and held onto him laying the tears fall and stain his shirt. I had several emotions pouring out all at once. I use to tell myself that I wouldn't cry over the shit but it was a traumatic experience in my life that still would haunt my dreams. All I want is for these nightmares to go away. It's like Gerald won't leave me alone.

"Everything is going to be alright. Your family still loves you and they will be happy to see you. They love you very much and don't ever forget that. Family fights all the time but that doesn't mean that the love isn't there anymore."

"But what if they done want to speak to me. I know I hurt them when I left to be with Gerald and cut them off."

"You just have to give athem time until they're ready to speak to you. Good things come to those who wait."

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SASHA

I thought I would find Killa and Tracey in here but i guess not. Maybe if I ask Kim where they are then I could do a surprise visit. I've been searching all over and I can't even find Killa's house. I know he lives in one of these rich homes. Since Kim is his sister I'm pretty sure she would know but she ain't gone tell me so I would have to drug it outta her.

I walked over to the bar and sat in a stool. Kim came towards me looking happy and jolly as hell. She knows something and I will get it out of her. I eventually took up Gerald's offer to break to Tracey and killa. I hate to do this to my Bestfriend but she stole my man and leaves me no choice... at this point I don't even care anymore. I got other important things to worry about like leaving town before nick gets killed for not returning money to some Nigga in the city. I will not be apart of his foolery.

"Hey Kim."

"Waddup." That was dry as hell and I sounded cheerful

"So I ain't seen Tracey around and I been wanting to talk to her and clear the air. I hate how things are between us." I tried to sound as sincere and sad as possible

"She quit the club a few days ago."

"Dang I really wanted to talk to her and make amends with her."

"Well at least you're trying to resolve y'all's issues." Bitch please, we're not even really cool like that anymore. If I would've known she was talking to KILLA during the time that we fucked, I would've marked my territory

Me and Tracey been putting up a front for the longest and it's been like that since forever. Every dude I fuck she somehow starts dating them and that be making me mad because I fucked him so I should have him. If only I knew how to tell that I had sex with these men then she wouldn't be dating them. I even had sex with Geralds ass. Dick wasn't all that.

"Can you please just tell her I want to talk?!"

"Uh yea I'll see what I can do.""