❛ whatever possessed you to do that should possess you again. ❜
basically, where i try to write maribat platonic and romantic oneshots. updates are generally twice a week.
cross posted on ao3 (@keeptellingyourselfthat) and tumblr (@itsnothappening)...
"The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth." - Unknown
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
— AS LILA ROSSI stood outside her new class, she mentally prepared her plethora of lies. She could literally taste the victory she was going to feel. After she wooed Adrien Agreste (he was going to fall head over heels in love with her), she would rule the class.
Lie No. 1: I must sit in the front with Adrien because of my tinnitus. I got it when I saved Jagged Stone's kitten from an airplane. It nearly died! Because Jagged loved his kitten SO much, he wrote a song about me.
Lie No 2. I'm besties with Ladybug! We met at an akuma attack and-
"LILA! Are you even listening?" asked her mother.
Lila almost glared at her for interrupting her. Almost. "Of course I am Mama, I just zoned out a little because I was so nervous."
Her oh-so-gullible mother's expression softened considerably. "Don't worry mio caro, your teacher her, Ms Bustier-" The lady beside her waved at Lila, "says that the children in her class are absolute angels. You'll get along great!"
Lila smiled with the utmost glee - not that her mother could see it - the class would be so gullible, they'd be at her beck and call! "Of course Mama."
"Now Lila," said her new teacher - she seemed to be a pushover, "Why don't you go inside and introduce yourself. I'm sure my class will welcome you with open arms. I will just talk to your mother for a few seconds."
Lila nodded dutifully. Mrs Rossi pulled her into a hug and said "Addio mio caro!"
Addio indeed.
☆☆☆☆☆
Lila stepped into the class. All the chatter inside suddenly ceased. There were about 10-11 students looking at her curiously. She could see her ticket to money and fame - Adrien Agreste - sitting at the front. Time to rule the class.
She pasted her sweetest, fakest smile and said "Bonjour! My name is Lila Rossi! I have just joined. My mother is the ambassador so I have joined late."
Most of the students smiled and introduced themselves, while one - the one sitting behind Adrien - said "Bonjour Lila! My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, why don't you sit next to Nathaniel in the back?" Nathaniel waved at her.
Lila's smile became a little fixed. Dammit, she had to sit next to Adrien! "Actually," she simpered. "I hate to cause an inconvenience, but I suffer from tinnitus so I can't hear properly from the back."
The brunette beside Marinette said "Oh? How so? I mean like if you want to tell me of course."
Lila smiled. Finally someone was falling into her trap!
"Oh no of course not! I got tinnitus by saving Jagged Stone's kitten! It ran under an airplane and I went to go get it out becaue, well, obviously, I couldn't let it die like that! As a thank you, Jagged wrote a song for me! And then Ladybug heard about that and came to meet me. We became besties just like that!" she bragged.
The rest of the class was speechless. They were totally going to fall for it. Hook, line and sinker.
"That's like...wow dudette." said Nino.
Lila cackled internally.
Hook.
"That is so cool, Lila!" said Alya.
Line.
Lila didn't notice the glint in Alya's eyes though.
Wait for it....aaaaaand...
"What a LIAR!" cackled Alix. The class burst out laughing with her.
And sinke- wait...what?
Lila forced her eyes to fill with tears. "What are you guys talking about? How could you day that to me?"
Kim rolled his eyes at her. "Stop with the crocodile tears Lila, we don't believe you."
Alix chimed in with her own input. "Everyone knows that Jagged Stone has Fang-"
Lila, seeing an out, said "That was the kitten's name! Fang!"
The class stared at her. "Who is a crocodile." Alix finished.
Oh.
"And no airport security is so lax that it would let a kitten go onto the runway, let alone a girl." says Adrien. Her ticket to fame.
"And, there is a reason the airport people wear earmuffs on the runway Lila." said Max.
"I'm NOT lying, you guys." said Lila, stamping her foot like a 3 year-old.
"Oh because it's totally legal for a 35 year-old man write a song about a minor." said Mylene sarcastically.
Well shi- Lila didn't think of that.
"And anyway Lila, even if we believed your pathetic lies, we wouldn't even care," said Rose.
"We're all successful people Lila, and we have our own connections too. We don't need your fake ones." said Juleka smoothly.
"Say for example, Juleka and Adrien. Those two are models. Adrien for Gabriel and Juleka for MDC." says Marinette. "Rose has Prince Ali on speed-dial. Kim and Alix have several sports figures looking for them as interns. Max has created one of the best AI's and tech companies are fighting for him."
Chloe adds her own bit. "Not to mention my daddy's the mayor. And Sabrina's daddy is the Chief Police Officer."
"Me and Mylene are getting known in movies!" says Ivan excitedly.
"I'm the co-owner of the Ladybug and Chat Noir comics, and me and Marc are almost sold out!" adds Nathanial.
Nino grins smugly and says "DJ Nino at your service. I got chosen over XY."
"Plus Alya is the creator of the Ladyblog. Everyone knows she's the closest thing to a civilian best friend Ladybug has. Chat Noir is her best friend." said Adrien.
Lila finally sees someone they missed. Marinette. She smirks at them and says "And what about Marinette hmm? She doesn't have any connections."
Adrien surprised her by laughing. "Oh you know nothing. Marinette has more connections than anyone of us." Said girl was blushing tomato red. "Let's see.." said Adrien, counting off his fingers. "She's Jagged Stone's personal designer. Designed his famous glasses and album covers you know? Then, she designed for Clara Nightingale and Prince Ali and did you know? She's the M to the DC that's taking over the fashion world. She'll be ruling it by the time she's of age."
Still blushing, Marinette smirked at her. "So you see Lila, your lies mean nothing to us."
That was when Ms Bustier entered the classroom. She smiled kindly at the class and asked "I hope the class gave you a good welcome Lila?"
The class nodded at her. "Oh yeah," said Alix smugly. "It's one she'll never forget."
☆☆☆☆☆
At the back, was when everything processed for Lila.
At her realization, her heart stopped beating for a minute.
