Tribute

3.

"Lena Archer."

I feel like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs when I hear him speak, when I hear that out of all the names in that bowl, he picked mine. The girls around me look at me in shock, some even look at me with pity, but I don't meet their eyes. All I see right now is the muddy ground beneath my feet, all I see is my shoes as they seem to sink farther into the mud. Right now I wish the mud would consume me, take me into its sticky clutches where I will never have to leave the spot where I stand, where I can be safe in the dark. A noise breaks through the ringing in my ears, sobbing. I think it's my mother, and if I listen hard enough I can hear my father's hushed voice as he tries to soothe her, but even from here I can hear the crack in his voice.

"Lena Archer?"

I hear my name again and I bring my gaze up to see that the girls around me have stepped away, making me stick out like a sore thumb. I look to my left and I see that they have made a clear path for me, and all of the girls stare at me, waiting for me to go. But I don't want to go, I don't even want to move, or breathe anymore, because I know where I am going, and dropping dead right here where I stand would be a far better fate than what awaits me. I know I have to move though, or I will be forced onto the stage by the peacekeepers around us, who's patience has already been tested as I processed the fact that it was my name that fell from Amor's painted lips. My feet move with sluggish movements, like I really am being pulled down into the mud at my feet. My knees feel like they're shaking, in fact my entire body feels like it is shaking, but I force it to stop. I cannot appear weak now. 

I break through the crowd and onto the cobblestone path, and immediately, Amor looks at me with a grin, "Bring her up!" I feel the peacekeepers behind me, but I don't give them the opportunity to touch me, I move my arms away from them and I walk forward by myself. I feel like the entire district is watching me, and I know that they are, because they have no choice. I hear whispers among the crowd, some of them recognize me from the academy, they recognize me as the girl who never speaks to anyone, the girl with the killer aim. To them, I am deadly. But right now, I don't feel deadly. I feel like a frightened child as I make my way up to the stage. As my foot touches down onto the first step, I notice Amor Cosmo at the top of the stairs, smiling at me and holding his hand out to help me up, "Come along dear!" He encourages. My hand automatically comes up and he takes it and brings me up and onto the stage, speeding up my pace and bringing me over to stand with him at the microphone. 

He looks at me with that same bright smile of his, his hand patting me on the back before he looks to the area of the courtyard that contains the females, "Any volunteers?" This question is usually met by an array of hands being thrown into the air as eager voices scream out that they volunteer. But now that I am up on stage, I notice just how young ninety percent of the female section is. There can't be more than ten girls my age there, the rest are younger, or too old to care because it is their last year.

None of them raise their hands, in fact, silence fills the town square once again, and I feel like crumbling down to the floor. But I don't, I force myself to stand tall, I force myself to appear as indifferent as I can. I am relieved as I see my face on the screen, and I do indeed look indifferent, bored even, and I hope that this will play to my advantage. Amor lets the silence drag on for another minute as he waits for someone to volunteer, but no one does, and I understand. So many of the girls I see can't be any older than fourteen, they haven't been in the academy long enough to know what they are doing when it comes to killing, and I wouldn't wish this fate onto anyone else.

Amor sighs in disappointment at the lack of volunteers, but he keeps that smile on his face as he moves back to the microphone, "Now, for the men." He walks to the crystal bowl that holds the boys names and he reaches in, taking out a slip of paper and walking back to the microphone, "Ferris Martholf!" Amor calls out.

I look to the boys and I immediately see a young man, who couldn't be older than twelve. He looks terrified, and I feel bad for him, but that feeling quickly leaves me when hand after hand raise and many male voices call out to volunteer. Amor looks flustered as he tries to pick one, but he finally settles on a boy with sandy brown hair, and the boy high fives his friends before he makes his way to the stage, almost running, and the rest of the crowd of boys let out disappointed sighs. Amor meets the male volunteer at the stairs and he leads him towards the microphone, positioning him to stand beside him before the escort turns to the microphone, "Now what's your name young man?"

The boy leans towards the microphone, "Roan Pansger, sir," he says with a grin. I recognize him from the academy, he's one of the older kids, I think he's seventeen. I remember how skilled he is with a sword, and his brute strength is definitely something to be afraid of, I've seen him bend steel bars during our strength lessons. I also remember him as someone else entirely. A bully, and a liar.

I was ten when it started. Roan came from one of the wealthier families in district four, he had a group of friends that worshipped the ground he walked on, and I hated them all. One day when I was walking home from school, I felt them grab me and pull me into an alleyway. I don't remember much after that, I remember them hitting me, I remember Roan saying that I stole something from him when I had never stolen something in my life.

The only reason he and his punk friends left me alone was because Anya and her uncle were passing by the alley, they shooed the boys off, and they took me home to be patched up by my mother. After that, day after day, he and his friends would find creative ways to make my life as tortuous as possible. Thankfully their onslaught of violence stopped once we entered the academy, because once I learned to fight, they knew better than to try and pick a fight with the girl that took down a full grown instructor all by herself.

This is who I am going to have to kill in the arena.

Amor smiles at us, "Go on you two, shake hands," He says. Roan turns to me, I turn to him, and the second we make eye contact, his arrogant smile falters for just a second as he realizes that it was me that was called up, and then a delighted, almost thrilled smile comes to his face. Why is he so happy? Does he think that he could have me as an ally in the arena? No way. I will never team up with the likes of him. He holds his hand out to me, and I know the entire nation is watching, so I shake his hand and a I force a friendly enough smile onto my face for the sake of the cameras. 

Once we separate, Amor bids goodbye to everyone in the district and there is one final round of applause before he turns and leads us into the Justice Building. We are both taken into separate rooms and I am left alone. 

The room is nice enough. It has chipping paint on the walls, it's covered in dust, and the only light in the room comes from a large window that faces the town square. I move to the windowsill and I take a seat, my eyes looking down and watching as the crowd slowly filters out to go back to their homes. How I wish I was among them. Instead, I am being sent off to slaughter, but right now, I am going to have to say my final goodbyes to my loved ones. That will be more painful than anything the arena can throw at me. For a while I sit there, alone, until there is a knock on the door and a peacekeeper opens the door for my first visitor.