The Truth About That Summer

fifty-seven

"And that's when he told me Maya was the one to kiss him, not the other way around." I sigh, slapping another coat of paint onto the backdrop for our photo booth.

Brynn's dark brows crinkle her forehead. But as always, she asks the most logical question next, ignoring my sloppy work. "What did you say?"

I shake my head, lowering my gaze and focusing on the streaks running through my black paint.

This is where it gets messy. Because I don't think I said what I should have, and I know I did something that I shouldn't have.

My brush strokes become harsher as last nights beach scene replays in my mind.

"Because I never kissed Maya! She kissed me."

I stared at Luke, hard, blinking furiously. "What?" I sputtered, pushing hair from my face. "What are you saying to me right now?"

Luke opened his mouth to reply and then closed it, tilting his face back to the sky. I could tell that he was about to take back what he'd said, he was just trying to work out how to reel the confession back in.

But suddenly, in that moment, I didn't want him to.

All at once it was like my anger dissipated. It wasn't all his fault - not entirely. He might've fucked up in other ways, but he didn't kiss Maya. He's not why they left the party. He didn't betray me - not that way, at least.

It's like a cold ocean wave, smacking me right in the face.

"Dylan, listen," He stepped towards me again.

I shook my head, matching his steps. "Shut up."

And then we met in the middle and it was me, not Luke, who pulled his face to mine and crushed our lips together. It was me, not Luke, who knotted my fingers in his hair and opened my mouth to his tongue, devouring the familiar taste of him.

When his hands pulled at my waist in an iron grip and forced my body to his, I let him. I welcomed it. I kissed him back, feeling more in those precious moments than I have in a long time.

Like I could finally breathe again. And I was so desperate for air that I almost believed in the sense of safety Luke's presence provided.

But then as quickly as I could take a breath, the guilt choked it out again, suffocating me until I pressed my hands to Luke's chest to push him away.

"Don't follow me." I said, leaving without looking back, the regret filling me up instantly.

Brynn only stares at me, eyes wide and patient and nonjudgmental, and offers a soft smile as I finally tell her everything.

Luke hadn't followed and I was glad. But also sad. And I can't get over how messed up that makes me.

Ignoring my bad decision, Brynn places her paintbrush down in the grass, a little bit of yellow paint down her cheek, and shrugs at me.

"Do you believe him? That it was Maya?"

I gnaw at my lip. Luke cheating never made sense to me. He had a past with girls, of course, but when he told me he cared about me, I believed him. I felt like he meant it. But Maya was here year round and I wasn't. They had memories I wasn't apart of. Plus...

"If Casey thought there was something going on, there probably was." The conclusion hurts. But I know my brother and he was smart - he would've seen the things I missed.

Brynn frowns. "Hm."

"What?" I glance up at her tone.

"It's nothing," She waves it off, grabbing her paint brush and slowly dragging it through a bucket of paint.

"Bee." I eye her suspiciously. "Spit it out."

With a long sigh, Brynn's dark eyes fall on my face. "I mean, it's not my business Dylan, and I could be wrong... But I think Luke might be telling the truth."

I wait for her to elaborate, my heart rate spiking up.

"I don't know... it's just, that night, Maya was being so weird. You weren't there and I don't know, she just kept making flirty little comments or... you know, just acting strange. But only when Casey left the room, to get drinks or whatever. Luke didn't seem comfortable, I think he left after a little, said he needed some air. I was going to ask Maya what was up, but all of a sudden she was gone and so was Luke." Her eyes get rounder. "Next thing I knew, Casey was storming out and Luke was going after him."

Her voice trails off.

I feel like I've been slapped. No, sucker punched, right in the gut. I don't know which hurt worse - thinking Luke broke my heart or that my best friend did.

"And I know the rest." I mumble, trying my best to digest this information. "You think Case was wrong?" I fight to keep the defensive edge from my voice.

Brynn half chuckles. "I don't know, Dylan. Maybe. Or maybe he was partly right, but just didn't have all the pieces. I mean, you said Maya stopped responding to you after the funeral, right? We didn't talk much after, either. It all just seemed weird." After a moment, she shrugs. "Anyways, I think what matters now is what you believe."

Feeling compelled to answer but not knowing how, I simply nod my head, chewing my inner cheek until it's raw.

I'm used to the heartache Luke created, or so I thought. This new hurt, this new possibility that Maya, my best friend, someone I considered my sister, went behind my back and did the very thing that set off the worst series of events in our entire lives, cuts my wounds open fresh, perhaps even deeper than before.

"Dyl?" Brynn's soft voice pulls me from my thoughts. "I know everything that happened, well, it's a lot. And I'm not saying it's easy to get past but... And I say this with love, only love... But isn't it exhausting to be so pissed off?"

Laughing once without humor, I nod. "But if I let myself feel the other stuff, Bee, I'm scared I'll fall apart."

Brynn places a gentle hand on my knee. "What about with Luke? What do you feel when you're with him?"

The kiss replays in my mind again, the feeling of a weight being lifted from my chest, a grip being released from my throat, pushing me to make the moment last.

A sudden urge overtaking me, I begin packing my things quickly. "Brynn, I'm sorry to do this, but do you mind if I head out early?"

"Nope." She grins a bemused smile. "But where are you going?"

Throwing my backpack over my shoulder, I bite my lip, trying to keep my nerve. "I'm going to get some air."

EEEEEP!
do you believe Luke's version of the story?