Jesse Duran is back.
After five years of being separated from the rest of the world due to his own mistakes, Jesse has his eyes set on one thing only.
The Love of his life and high school sweetheart, Karma Onuoha.
Five years definitely was a long t...
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2 ½ years later
I unlocked the front door after a not-so-long day at work. I left earlier so I could spend time with Karma for the day before the kids came back from school.
Walking inside, I'm met with silence just as I expected. We had given Marta the week off because Karma had said she felt taking some time to make the kids their meals and handle all the household duties for the week on her own. Something about wanting to get her mind off of work when she came back home.
I was incredibly proud of Karma and everything she's accomplished so far in her career. But she's never been one to not wear her heart on her sleeve. I knew when she was struggling or in need of something and didn't know how to ask to articulate her thoughts.
She was moodier and jumpier than usual. She had a need to be around the kids more almost like she was afraid something would happen if she let Karmen or Jacinta out of her sight.
We had a miscarriage last year that traumatized both of us. But of course, it had affected her more. She had only been almost 3 months along. There's this 'rule' where you don't really announce your pregnancy until after the first trimester. She was more than halfway through it before I had gotten a call at work from Leslie who told me to get over to her office because it was urgent.
I dropped everything and went there as fast as I could only to be met with our biggest fear. She was unable to speak by the time I got there, but she had told Leslie that she suspected she was miscarrying when she went to the bathroom and had blood stains on her underwear that looked similar to someone who was on the 2nd day of their cycle.
She didn't want to go to the hospital yet or make too big of a fuss that the whole office would know. With both of us being in the public eye, the miscarriage would've been quite the story to sell. The cons of working as a journalist surrounded by other journalists. She had been sitting at her desk with her arms crossed on the table and her head laying on it as she cried profusely with Leslie rubbing her back.
By the time she was ready to speak after everything settled in her mind the only thing she kept muttering was, 'it was so much blood', into my chest when she finally let me hug her.
The doctor had pointed out that all of those late nights and poor eating habits caught up to her and contributed to her stress which caused the miscarriage.
A few months later she was insistent on trying for another but I was against it knowing how stressed she was and that it just wasn't the right time. Especially since she kept blaming herself for what happened. She wasn't in the right frame of mind.
So she became more distant when she felt like I was denying her or that I was turned off by her, which would never be fucking possible. But she threw herself into her work and would spend more time with the kids when she could.
I had talked her into seeking therapy for about six months until she agreed. Which I'm glad she did because the state of our marriage was finally looking up. There was no more of the cold shoulder or extremely short and blunt answers. She was ready to have sex again and we were able to joke around with each other again.
