Chapter 62

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Xander's POV:

There was no hesitation in me, the second I reached the door I nearly threw it open, eyes ready to find her in my bed like she had said.

But I caught her first just a few feet from the door, my appearance causing her to freeze midstep.

Her eyes rounded as they set on me, and she had her arms crossed tightly as if she was holding herself.

That now-familiar smell of uncertainty was rolling off of her and thick in the air of the room, her heartbeat being just slightly faster than usual.

I composed myself a bit before closing the door and stepping further in.

She eyed me warily as I did, especially at the look on my face.

I knew how good she had gotten at reading me. and even then, I wasn't too confident that I was masking it well.

She knew something was up.

Her eyes glanced to the clock.

"The ball isn't over yet. Did you forget something?" There was a tremor in her voice that most wouldn't have been able to catch.

That and she still hadn't released her arms, and I was well aware of what that habit of hers showed me.

Had she been like this the entire time? Sitting in here stressing?

I should have left so much sooner.

"No, I," I felt that lump in my throat shift as I cleared my throat, "I left early."

She stared at me for a few seconds, processing.

"You... Left? You're not going back?"

I shook my head.

"I'm not... The longer I was there the more I realized that" I paused. I had to since it felt like my breath was cutting itself off. "that there wasn't anyone there that I'd rather be with tonight than you."

Even if things weren't what they used to be...

Her brows rose, lips parting ever so slightly.

Nervousness churned in me with every passing second, that damned regret tightening in me.

I needed to pull It out and I needed to do it soon.

"I-I can leave though if you wanted to have this time to yourself." I sputtered.

If that was the case then I could wait, I wouldn't want to rob her of that time I just-

"No!" she exasperated, startling both of us.

She drew in a breath before continuing, "No I... I'm glad you're back,"

The words were nearly silent, and yet they yanked hard at my heart. At the verity and slight ache in her soft words

They caused me to stagger a step towards her, wanting to offer some sort of comfort, but catching myself.

I wasn't sure if it was something she wanted. From me at least.

And now of all times.

So instead we just stood there in silence for a moment.

I didn't know how to begin. I didn't make any sort of plan on what I was going to say or how I was going to say it.

All I was feeling now was the defeat of accepting that everything I lost, everything I sacrificed, everything that I convinced myself would be worth it, were for absolutely nothing.

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