Comprehension

depression

I have spent my life
trying to fight you,
trying to defy you,
trying to treat you as
a seperate part of me that can be cured.

But as the years go by,
I am learning that I must
walk with you,
side by side ,
hand in hand.

There are days when I wish
you would go silent.
Days where I fear I might
smash my head against the wall
just to quite down my inner turmoil.
Because you scream at me so loudly,
and the things you say are almost
never kind.

Some days when I stare at you,
eye to eye,
chest to chest ,
I fear you might swallow me whole.
I fear that you'll kill me,
Like you've done to so many before.

But,
I am learning to listen
to the conversation you have
with my head and my heart.
And I am learning to silence
the things meant to tare me apart.

You are my companion,
I will no longer fight you.
You are part of me,
like I am part of you.
And I will survive you,
even if it is the last thing
I am to do.

         
                   -Liyah smith